“And we come bringing ice cream and fruit,” Sierra smiled. “I was in the mood for a milkshake, and I figured it went hand in hand with coloring.”
“Mmm,” I moaned. “I haven’t had a milkshake in forever!”
“Milkshakes!” Alex cried happily. “This is the best day ever!”
We all laughed at his sheer joy.
“Just wait and see, little man,” I teased him mysteriously.
“Okay, so we have bananas, strawberries, peanut butter, chocolate ice cream, and vanilla ice cream,” Sierra commented as she went into the kitchen to unload her bags. “Who wants what?”
“Peanut butter and chocolate,” Jemmy and Ella said simultaneously.
“May I have just vanilla?” Nadia requested.
“Vanilla is so boring,” Alex snorted. “May I have chocolate?”
“Hey, I like vanilla, too,” Dawn teased Alex.
Alex blushed and ducked his head. “I guess…it’s okay.”
The adults laughed at his backpedaling.
“Do you need any help?” I asked.
“No, thank you,” Sierra stated. “I’ve never really cared for coloring. I’ll glue the characters on and glitter the crap out of everything, though,” she smiled. “Now, what about everyone else?”
We all gave her our orders, and Sierra went to work.
“Hey Blake,” Jemmy remarked. “Can we talk real quick?” She looked anxious, and Jemmy was never nervous.
I looked up at her and nodded. “Sure.”
I imagined she wanted to talk to me about what she was going through. I led her back to my room, and I immediately took a seat on the couch. “Have a seat,” I bade her.
She shook her head. “No, it’s okay. I do better standing up.” She began to pace. “I’m sorry I’ve been such a bitch. You really don’t deserve it. Drake and I never like to talk about how we lost our Dad. Not even to each other.
“You know mom never really wanted us. She wanted a high power job. She only had us because of Dad. He wasn’t like mom. He would have been happy staying home with us while mom worked, but she constantly demeaned him, and she always wanted more. She wasn’t content with our sixteen hundred foot house in suburbia. She wanted the mansions, the maids, the nannies. Drake was always the good child from birth. I was colicky and caught every virus that went around. She had to stay at home a lot with me. Even though my dad volunteered to. Meanwhile, opportunities for promotions passed her by.
“Then she started blaming my dad for not making more money. She always rode him. Whatever he did was never enough. She drove him to his death. I don’t care what Dr. Wong says, she belittled him and tore him down at every opportunity as she did with me. I was never good enough for her. I was never good at school. I talked too much. I couldn’t focus on most of the subjects. She blamed my dad for that one, too.
“We still don’t know what happened the day that he…took his life. He didn’t seem depressed. His coworkers were as stunned by it as we were. And the thing that bothered me the most was mom didn’t even seem distraught about it.
“Then things went from bad to worse. Now with mom’s verbal punching bag gone, she started in on me. She called me stupid, lazy, and a whore. Nothing I did seemed to make her happy. In the meantime, Drake could do no wrong. He tried to protect me, and he helped me with my work, but Mom kept telling him to stop coddling me. She wanted to turn him against me.”
“She sounds like a witch,” I said in a horrified whisper. I wasn’t going to tell her that Drake had a different opinion about their father’s death. She was already struggling with enough.
“She was. When Drake started to show signs of his gift, I was losing my only friend. She was talking about sending him away to a specialized treatment facility. Then my gift manifested. When she sent us away I was the happiest I had ever been since my Dad died. I was even happier when Pops took us in. I just didn’t realize I carried my insecurities with me.
“Even though the boys were like my brothers, I couldn’t help but feel some attraction for some of them. When I got my mark, I knew it wasn’t to be, so I started fantasizing about my life. I knew Pops had two connections, and I thought, what girl wouldn’t want to be loved by two men? You know, ‘cause I’m greedy.
“Then I met you and I really, really liked you. I was slightly jealous, but I learned to get over it. Then I found Gavin, or should I say, you discovered him. I thought, ‘wow, he really is the one’! There was an instant connection with him before I even knew he was meant for me. When Sierra came along, I resented her. I also hated her, but eventually, I learned its hard not to like someone like her. She’s amazing.
“I wanted to get rid of those insecurities, but it was so hard, especially after my mom contacted me again. I did a little bit of research on her, and it only made me spin out of control. All the hurtful things she said and did to me came rushing back. How dare she pretend that she was the mother of the year and only sent us away because she wanted the best education for us? When I tried to tell her to kick rocks, she turned vicious once more.
“I should have never taken out all my pain and anger on you, even if you are one of the luckiest bitches in the world with seven of the hottest guys in the United States. It didn’t help that my connection looks at you as one of his best friends. I didn’t know how to process the fact that he feels more comfortable talking to you about some things before he would even think to come to me for. We can’t forget that you know him more than even Sierra and I do at times.
“I need to learn that I am enough. That Gavin loves me for me. Not just my good but my ugly too. I need to know that Sierra isn’t against me, that she loves me, too. That Gavin doesn’t compare us and neither should I. He loves us equally in different ways.