She didn’t even give me a chance to say anything, and in a few minutes she was guided into a small room where the radiologist, a young girl with round glasses and an easy smile, told her to take off her shoes, bra, jewelry, and belt along with any metal objects and place them in the secure locker. When she came out after a few minutes, she looked paler than she had when she’d gone in. Her hair was down in soft waves around her, the hair tie that had been holding it up gone.
I could only focus on the way her hands were trembling. When she noticed it herself, she hid them behind her back. I tried to catch her gaze more than a few times, but it looked like she was purposely avoiding me. The shimmer of tears in her eyes was another issue, and my chest tightened at the sight of her trying to be brave.
She followed the technician into the room, her steps faltering when she saw the tunnel-shaped machine. I watched as she hugged herself with one arm and then quickened her steps.
The technician was holding a weird contraption in her hands, waiting for Rose next to the machine.
“You can lie down on the table now. We’ll need to place this on your head so we can keep it stable in the machine.”
Rose stood still in her spot. “I…I’m a little claustrophobic. Is there any way we can skip that thing if I promise I won’t move my head?”
“I’m sorry, but we have to use it.”
A cage—it was a cage for her head.
Rose nodded but didn’t make a move to get on the table.
The technician pushed forward. “It’ll only take fifteen minutes or so to complete the scan, and I will be right on the other side of the glass.” She held up a small button connected to a long wire. “You’ll be holding this in your hand, and if you start to panic, you can press it and we’ll stop and take you out.”
“But then we’ll have to start again, right?”
“I’m afraid so. Ready?”
My jaw clenched, my hands forming fists on their own. I didn’t like this, and Rose wasn’t moving.
She laughed, the sound broken and wrong. “I’ll move any second now, promise.”
The technician smiled.
“Can I stay in the room with her?” I asked, the anger in my voice loud and clear, only I wasn’t angry at anyone there. I just hated that my hands were tied and no matter how much I wanted to, I couldn’t help her. Me staying in the room wouldn’t change the fact that she was gonna have to go in there, but I figured it would help me, if not her.
Rose’s head snapped up to me, her lips parting. “Jack, you don’t have to do that.”
I ignored her. “Is it safe?” I asked the technician, trying my best not to growl at her. I didn’t think I was that successful because her eyes grew large and she nervously reached up to push her glasses up her nose.
“Erm, yes. It’s safe, but you’ll need to take off your—”
“Got it.” I turned away and walked out of the room to take care of everything. Less than a minute later, I was back.
Rose was still standing on her two feet and not on the table.
“Okay?” I asked when I was standing too close yet not close enough.
She took a deep breath, let it all out, and nodded. I offered her my hand and waited as she ran her palms up and down her leggings and then slowly grasped mine. It was cold. I helped her up, and right when she was about to lie down on her back, the technician stopped her.
“Oh, I’m gonna need you to lie on your stomach.”
Rose straightened up to a sitting position immediately, one of her hands still in mine, her grip as tight as possible. “What?” she sputtered.
“The scan your doctor wants is taken facedown.”
“But my nose—it’s—and…” Her eyes came to me as her face started crumpling, her breathing too fast. “Jack, I won’t be able to breathe, not facedown. I can’t—”
I gave Rose’s hand a squeeze and she stopped talking. Without shifting my eyes from hers, I addressed the technician. “Could you give us a moment, please?”
Rose’s gaze followed the technician as she stepped out of the room and closed the door. She was on the verge of hyperventilating, and the scan hadn’t even started.
“You’re going to be late to the coffee shop, and on top of that you’re making me late, too. We have to do this, right? You heard the doctor.”
She swallowed, her throat moving.
I caught her chin between my fingers and forced her gaze to meet mine. Arching an eyebrow, I asked again, “We have to do this. I need you to be okay, so we can’t avoid it.”