“I have been thinking about it a lot and I’ve also done some research.”
I lean forward in my chair and stare intently at her. “What do you mean?”
“I mean there are people who can help you with this. No matter who Jeremy is and how much money he has.”
“What do you mean? Like… to divorce him?”
The idea is liberating and terrifying all at once. I’ve talked about it in casual terms before, hypothetically, but this feels much more real. I want it so bad it hurts, but it just feels so impossible.
“There is a women’s charity that helps people get out of abusive relationships.”
“It isn’t abusive with Jeremy…”
“It’s emotionally abusive. Also, he’s grabbed you on the wrists a couple of times and shaken you.”
He’s also pushed me once too, not that I would ever tell about that to Clara. It would destroy her. She might kill him.
“So, what do they do?” My voice sounds really weird. All strained and stressed. “How do they help?”
“They have access to the best lawyers in the city, who help to get the divorce that you need.”
“I can’t afford a lawyer. I don’t have anything that’s mine.”
Jeremy won’t let me work. At first, I thought it was quite sweet that he wanted to take care of me. I assumed I might like being a lady of leisure, but now I see it as a control thing. He doesn’t want me to be able to look after myself. He wants me completely helpless to him, at his whim, unable to leave.
“You don’t need to. It’s a charity for a reason. They cover the costs for you, or the lawyer does it for free.”
“So, you just don’t have to pay?”
“No, and they provide you with shelter and stuff if you need it as well.”
“But why would they do that? I don’t understand, that seems too helpful.”
“To help people like you!” Clara throws her hands up in the air in frustration. “People who are stuck in horrible marriages who can’t get out. This is what you need to do.”
“I don’t know.” My head spins, this is all moving too quickly. “I need to think about it. This is a bit much.”
“Look, your marriage isn’t going to get any better. It will only get worse if anything. You need to do this.”
All I can do is nod, I don’t have any choice. I guess Clara is right. I really do need to get out.
“Okay, let’s go now then. Let’s get the ball rolling. I want you to be happy again, so why not start?”
“What?” My heart stops beating for a moment. “Right now?”
“We have time. We’re together. Let’s do it. Why the hell not?”
She grabs my hand and drags me with her, leaving me with no choice. I just hope this isn’t something I go on to regret later on. I have too many regrets already…
* * *
“How did it go?” Clara gushes as soon as I leave my appointment. “Did they help you?”
I nod, silently blown away by how amazing this charity was. They really do just want to help people. “Yeah, it was amazing, I have the name of a lawyer who is willing to work with me for free.”
“What’s his name?” Clara grabs the card off me. “Zane Black. Wow, even I’ve heard of him. He’s got an amazing reputation. You are lucky, he will help you out of this horrible marriage.”
“You think?” I shake all over, anxious and excited all at once. “This is the first time I’ve ever felt like escape was possible. I’m just so scared to get the ball rolling.”