I’m just here to get some closure anyway, I tell myself. There isn’t anything more to it than that.
But as I watch Jace standing at the bar, about ready to bring me my drink over, and my heart skips a beat. I can’t help but feel a certain way about him. It’s ingrained into my psyche, like a plague.
His hair is shaggier than it was when I saw him in the flesh last, but I know that already from seeing him on TV. His body stronger too. More muscular. It’s hard to reconcile this person with the
guy from the media though. I know he’s the one who is in The Puppeteers, the one with a rock star attitude, the one with different women hanging off his arm all the time, but right now he’s just Jace. The guy I once held a piece of.
He turns with the drinks clutched between his fingers, and he smiles. The grin on his face lights up the entire room and reminds me just what it feels like to be his girl. Like the sun is beaming down on my shoulders.
“So, Addie,” he says with a smile as he places the drinks down on the table. “Tell me about yourself. About you now, I mean, I knew who you were before, but it’s… it’s been a long time.”
I jump straight in to work, partly to cover up the slight awkwardness between us, and partly because it’s the safest topic I can think of. I tell him all about my climb up the ladder in the newspaper editing world, and he listens completely wrapped up by me. I have every scrap of his attention and it’s a magical feeling.
“Anyway,” I finally blush and smile as I run out of things to say. I love my job, but describing it to someone else only takes so much time. “It’s boring listening to me. My life isn’t anywhere near as interesting as yours. You are the super famous rock star who managed to make all of his dreams come true.”
“No, my life isn’t that interesting.” His face falls which is strange. I thought he would light up like a Christmas tree as he discussed his career. He always used to love talking about music. “It’s actually pretty stressful. Not quite the glamorous dream that everyone assumes it’s going to be.”
“Oh… right…” I don’t know what to say to that. Luckily, the wine is working its magic and loosening me up a bit. “Well, you’re at the peak though, the top of what everyone wants, and The Puppeteers only seem to be getting stronger. The fan base is massive, isn’t it? You’ve been very lucky with that…”
No, my words aren’t making him feel any better. His face appears to be falling. I don’t know why he’s acting so crazy about his job, I thought he would be over the moon, but it seems like an unsafe topic. How can I make it right? I scramble through my brain desperately, trying to find something to jump on.
“You must have seen a lot of places though…”
“Yeah, but not a lot. I usually just see the inside of stadiums and hotel rooms. It isn’t that thrilling to be honest.”
“Right, I see… erm, I’m sorry to hear that…”
He forces a smile on his face. “Anyway, tonight is for light topics, so let’s leave that one behind.”
I nod and agree. If this is something he wants to talk about later on, he can, but I can’t push him. We’ve been apart for six long years. I don’t know him anymore.
“Okay, well then I think we should have another drink.” I bolt up. “I’ll get this one.”
I ’m so tipsy, I can’t stop laughing. I forgot how funny Jace was, how the fact that we have the same sense of humor makes everything so much easier. We just click on a deeper level that I don’t with anyone else. We have a bond… one that keeps deepening the more I touch him, and I can’t seem to stop touching him. My body keeps finding excuses to brush my hand over his leg, to squeeze his arm, to graze his hand.
I’m a drug addict and my supply is right here in front of me. I can’t help needing a bit.
“Last call?” Jace repeats what the barmaid has just said, disgusted. “But we’re just getting started.”
“It is pretty late though,” I declare, even though I don’t want to leave either. “We probably should go.”
Jace holds my gaze for far too long, his eyes fixed on mine in an intense way that sends butterflies flapping all the way through me. I don’t need these butterflies, they can lead to something dangerous, but I can’t stop them. The wine doesn’t help to be honest, it’s freeing what I usually keep locked away tight. The love that I don’t want to feel for this man because he hurt me so badly, threatens to swallow me up whole.
“Yeah, alright then.” He finally breaks the silence, but the magic remains. “Let’s go.”
He takes my hand and leads me from the bar. I expect the cold night air to sober me up, but it doesn’t. It can’t, not when I’m half-drunk off this man.
“That was fun, wasn’t it?” He spins around, his face almost meeting mine. “It was a good night.”
“It was, the most fun I’ve had in ages.”
Oops, I don’t know if I should have said that. That might have been a bit much. Not that it matters. Jace is closer to me now, I can practically breathe him in. My eyes flicker over his face, I look at him everywhere, trying to work out what his intensions are, what the hell we’re doing here, why I feel so much…
Then the next minute, his lips are somehow on mine and all thoughts have fallen away. Fireworks explode all the way through me, all my organs spring back to life. His lips have done something to me, they have risen me from the dead. It’s as if I have been waiting for him all this time and now, he’s come back to me.
Shit, my brain thinks deep in the background somewhere. I’m in so much trouble.
14