“Addie, losing you was the worst thing that ever happened to me,” I confess honestly. “You don’t even know. And I understand that it was horrible for you as well, I get that, but it doesn’t need to be like this anymore, does it? We can work it out now, put the past behind us and move on.”
“Jace, I left you for a reason. I haven’t been in touch with you for a reason.” Addie’s eyes flash with temper. Anger is better than sadness I think though. “What makes you think that will change now?”
“Because you were avoiding me because you thought I did you wrong. You assumed that I cheated on you.” I step closer to her, noting that this time she doesn’t flinch which is good. “And now we’ve talked about it and you know that I didn’t. Which means we have a basis to start again.”
“And what does that mean?” She’s cautious. I get that.
“I don’t know. I really don’t. It can mean whatever you want it to.”
Please, I silently beg. Please, don’t turn your back on us. Please remember how good we once were and how much better we can be going forward.
13
ADDISON
I ’m stunned to the core; I don’t know how to process any of this. Is it possible that I really got it wrong for all these years? I was so sure that he’d cheated on me and that I’d done the right thing by leaving, but his words have thrown me in to disarray. I know Jace. It might have been six years but I know him. He isn’t lying.
“I… I should have just asked you,” I gush, my words sounding jagged and raw. “I should have been adult enough to speak to you about it. I ran away. But then… I wouldn’t have believed you. I think deep down I was so convinced that you were going to do that sort of thing anyway.”
“Cheat on you?” But I would never…”
He trails off. I think he knows as well as I do that he might have done. In the early days when everyone was throwing themselves at him, he might have struggled. Especially since we would have been distant. It could have gotten really nasty. I don’t know what would have happened, I guess we never will know now.
“Jace, I don’t know what this is. I don’t know what to say,” I reply sadly. “This is just madness. I feel a bit ambushed. I wasn’t expecting to see you here and now everything has been dragged up, and… well, I’m emotional. I don’t think I’m even making any sense.”
“I know what you mean.” He takes my hand and for some reason, I let him. The electricity fizzles between us, just like it always has done. I guess even the last six years hasn’t changed that. It’s annoying really, I would love to just be stoic with him so I can just treat him like another person. “I’m emotional too.”
“So, what do we do?” I half laugh. “I mean, obviously the date at The Trattoria is out of the question now…”
“Yeah, I don’t think they will let us back in there. Ever again, actually.”
“So, we should just leave it?” I phrase this as a question because I need him to give me his opinion too. “Go home and… I don’t know, think about what just happened tonight. This shit storm.”
He chuckles, sort of and nods. “Okay, yeah, we probably do need some time to think, don’t we?”
I take a step backwards, already feeling the pull back to him. I hate that magnetic force, it’s a nightmare. It’s the thing that almost dragged me back to college after I left just to see him, but I didn’t want to know what he was up to. Luci was banned from telling me, which was torture, but necessary. That pull is there again, threatening to tear me apart if I run. But I need to get out of here, to clear my head. To really work out if this is a dream or reality. I mean, my intriguing mystery man can’t really be Jace Fairs, can it?
“Or…” Jace’s word stops me in my tracks. I can’t help myself, I so desperately want to know what he’s going to say next. “We could not take this so seriously and go for a drink instead?”
“What do you mean?” I ask dumbly, as if I don’t know what a drink is.
“Well, if we leave right now, it’ll all be heavy, stressful. Whereas if we go for a drink and we talk about other stuff, then we can go home with a smile on our faces, can’t we?”
I can’t help but laugh. I wasn’t expecting him to say that. I’ve just spent the last few minutes torturing myself, wondering if I let everyone in my head. A drink actually sounds like an incredible idea.
“Okay sure, why not. One drink. That can’t exactly hurt, can it?”
He takes my hand and I allow him to, even though it gets me all stirred up in the most confusing possible way. He leads me towards the bar just across the road and we slip inside, unnoticed by some miracle. We made much more of a fuss than we intended to in The Trattoria, and I don’t want that again.
The warmth of the bar surrounds me, wrapping me in a comforting blanket, and Jace indicates for me to take a seat. I pick a table in the corner while he orders me a drink. White wine with lemonade mixed in like I used to drink when I was a student. I usually have it without fizzy drink mixed in these days, but it doesn’t matter. I don’t mind the trip down memory lane. Even if it isn’t expected, it isn’t the worst thing in the world.
I check my phone screen to see a message from Luci.
Luci: Is everything going okay? You don’t need an escape call from the mystery man? X
I should just tell her what’s going on. I should let her know that the man isn’t a mystery after all. That he’s someone we both know. But I can’t help remembering her face when she told me that he was kissing someone else. She was furious on my behalf, about ready to murder him. She was even more fuming when I left her behind at college. I don’t think she’d appreciate to know that he’s back in my life and that I’m still here.
With a sigh I slip my phone back in my bag, thinking that I’ll talk to her about it later. Face to face is the way to do it. That way I can calm her down before she goes too mad.