We kiss some more, the feel of her soft plump lips sending me to heaven. I usually only see the kiss as a gateway to something more, but with Darcy, this is all that I want from her. The kiss is everything to me. I just want to hold her forever and have her explore my mouth with her own until she is satisfied. Not that I will ever be fully sated with Darcy. I think that I will always want more from her. Knowing that she has so much to offer, makes it that much more thrilling for me. I want to know everything about her, every inch of her body…
“The necklace.” She suddenly realizes that she’s wearing it. “It’s too much, Seth, I came to bring it back.”
“No way,” I insist. “I got it for you. No way I am taking it back now. It’s yours.”
“But it must have cost a fortune. I don’t even want to know. You should take it back…”
“You know that I can afford it, right?” I chuckle. “Plus, I want it to be yours. I owe you six years’ worth of gifts and this is my way to make up for that. It might not be enough, but it’s a start, right?”
She brushes her fingers over it, and I can see her light up like a Christmas tree. She might not want to admit it, but she loves the way that the necklace makes her feel. I can’t help but wonder if she might like the other sides of the glitz and glamor of Hollywood as well. I have always made the assumption that she would hate it, without actually asking her. That might be where I have been going wrong.
“I have wanted you for six long years.” I tuck a stray strand of hair behind her ear. “Even before that. But especially since that kiss six years ago. Now, I know you must be wondering why I left and didn’t contact you and I don’t have a good enough explanation for that. I don’t deserve anything from you, I get that, I don’t even deserve you to listen to me when I don’t have anything good to give you… but I’m here now…”
“Yes.” She presses her finger to my lip. “You are here now.”
I wait f
or her to ask me for how long or to criticize me for my lack of explanation, but she doesn’t. Instead she pulls me back to her and we kiss more. I actually love her a little bit extra for that because Darcy knows me well enough not to push me about things that I don’t have the answer to, because it will stress me out.
If she’s willing to live in the moment, then I am too. We’re both here in the same place at the same time, and it feels utterly wonderful. This is the most content that I have ever felt in my life. I never want it to end. I can’t believe how lucky I have been, to come back here and get everything that I want and more. I have my friends back in my life, my father is looking much happier again, and now Darcy is here in my arms. All I had to do was communicate with her, it really is as simple as that. I guess we were just too young to do that before, but now I will communicate nonstop. I will do whatever it takes to make this work, because I want her to stay with me for good. I want her to be this close to me for the rest of my days.
Eventually, we stop kissing because the sleepiness has gotten to Darcy once more, which is fair enough since I did disturb her, but I don’t lose the closeness with her. She remains tightly tucked in my arms as the snoring begins all over again. I don’t fall asleep because all of the kissing has me wired and wide awake now, but all that means is, that I can sit here and enjoy the sight of this beautiful woman in my arms. Her mouth hanging open a little bit, hair messy, and her cheeks pink with the nighttime heat.
Finally, I want to clap my hands together with glee, but I can’t, because they are clinging on to Darcy. Finally, it’s beginning. At last, I have the woman that I love in my arms, and I know that everything will be okay.
Of course, without the kissing my mind is much freer to wander as well, which sends me in to thoughts of the future, plans to bring Darcy to LA with me. She might not have ambitions for stardom, unless that has changed since I last saw her, but she works in the beauty world. Hollywood is the perfect place to make those dreams come true. She can be a beautician to the stars if she wants. I can help her with that dream. I can assist her with whatever she needs me to do. Anything to ensure that we are happy together.
People will be interested in us of course, but they always are bothered about my love life. Once the newspapers realize that this is something real and going to last forever, they will lose interest and focus on someone with more drama in their lives. Someone who really doesn’t need the intrusion, but not me. Then, she can come with me to parties and events, red carpet things and be my partner. And that will just be our public lives. Our private lives will be even better. We can be in love and get married, start a family and live out the happy ever after that has always been coming our way. Sure, it may not look like either of us planned it when we first started hanging out when we were much younger, but that’s irrelevant. The outside doesn’t need to look as we thought, because the inside will be perfect. Me and her will find a way to be happy, no matter what is going on around us. That really doesn’t sound too difficult when I think about life with my best friend.
I snuggle into Darcy, feeling more confident and happy than I have in a very long time. This is right, this is my real love story coming to life at last. My own little movie with a meaningful story, only I get to keep the happy ever after. It will be mine forever more.
Chapter Twelve
Darcy
December 25th
What is that? There is a bright light, infecting my vison, begging for attention so loudly that it drags me from my sleep. My slightly hung over senses are screaming, because I went a bit wild at the Christmas carnival. I know that this can’t be my bedroom because I have thick black out curtains to make sure that the morning sun doesn’t disturb me like this, so I have to be somewhere else… somewhere… oh my God, I’m with Seth.
In an instant, last night comes screaming back to me, all of it in one go, culminating in the incredible kisses that we shared in the middle of the night, or perhaps in the early hours of the morning, I’m not too sure. Either way, it heats me up and chills me to the bone in equal measures. I don’t know how to feel. I’m happier than I have ever been before, overwhelmed with emotion, consumed with lust… but I’m also very scared because this is unknown territory for us. Or maybe it isn’t, it’s known but it doesn’t end well.
Admittedly, it’s a fucking incredible sensation to wake up with this man’s arms wrapped around me. To know that he’s clinging on to me like I’m the only damn thing connecting him to the world. This is something that I always wanted, there were times when I slept over here when I was younger, and I would have loved nothing more than to wake up in a hug with him, but it didn’t work out like that. Not until now.
I curl in around him and embrace the warmth, remembering the kind words that he spoke to me last night, really feeling them hard inside of my body. He basically promised that me and him will find a way to be together. I don’t know if it’s possible, but it was nice for him to say that anyway. To imagine it could be possible. I want to feel that for just a moment, to have that inside of me while he holds me.
The Christmas carnival has always been weirdly important to me and Seth for many different reasons. It built our friendship, it created our first proper romantic moment, it caused me heartache, and now it has brought him back to me. I don’t know for how long, I don’t intend to fall for any of his promises and to believe that anything can happen between us, but it feels okay to just embrace it for the moment. Before he goes and I lose him to Hollywood- and the super models all over again. Women who deserve to be in his bed these days now that he is Mr. Hollywood and not just the guy who lives next door to me.
“Seth, what are we doing here?” I whisper to him as a rhetorical question, not wanting to know the answer, nor am I expecting one. “Why do me and you always end up in a complicated mess?”
Speaking of complicated messes, it’s Christmas Day and I have to get back home before my parents find out that I’m out because that will cause unnecessary drama that I really don’t need. And that’s the exact reason why I’m not going to wake Seth up. Because I know we will end up having a deep conversation about us and our feelings. We will have to, won’t we? And I don’t have time for that. It’s Christmas morning, so I know that Seth will understand. If we do end up having this talk then we can do it later on.
I rise up from the bed as quietly as I can, trying not to disturb him, and I smooth my clothing down. Once I’m pretty sure that I look at least respectable, I smile down at Seth sleeping on the bed. While he’s sleeping like that, he’s such an uncomplicated person who I could actually see a family with. A future with.
“I will see you soon.” I lean down and kiss him lightly on the head. “Oh, Seth Bishop. You are amazing.”
I watch him for a couple more moments, just enjoying the sight of him, before I have to escape out of the window once more. I suppose I could go out the front door like an adult now, and even have a conversation with his father, but I don’t feel like it right now. This is a snatched moment from the past and we might as well keep it that way. Even if it isn’t comfortable, even if I feel a lot more ungainly now, I do it.
Why didn’t I wear shoes? I wonder as I creep back through the dewy grass. I really didn’t plan this out well, did I? It was all fun and games in the middle of the night, but now it’s a mess. I’m an idiot.