Shit. I take a step backwards, not wanting to crowd her any more than I need to. I’m going to have to make this yet another short but sweet conversation, so she doesn’t freak out. I don’t want to ruin her night.
“Sorry, I don’t mean to interrupt you dancing.” I reach in my bag and pull out the gift that I spent so long picking out, praying to any deity listening that she doesn’t totally hate it. “I know this isn’t a thing anymore, because Benji told me that the tradition already died, but I didn’t get the memo, so I got gifts.”
I hand it to her, and she remains silent just staring at me like I have grown an extra head or something. She doesn’t open it, which is a shame, because I would have loved to see her reaction to it, but clearly, she needs to end this conversation now before it gets even more complicated. None of us want that.
“Thank you, Seth,” she rasps back. “But obviously I don’t have anything for you…”
“No, I know. I don’t expect anything.” I glance behind me, needing to move before this becomes something else. “I just wanted to give it to you, but now I’m off. I need to get back to Benji.”
I walk away without looking back because I don’t want to see what look is in her eyes. I don’t want to see her hating me, wishing that I wasn’t here, wanting me to go… I really hope that I can change that. That I can bring her back in to my circle and things can go back to normal all over again.
I will, because me and Darcy are meant to be.
Chapter Ten
Darcy
December 25th
What the fuck was that about? I think to myself as I stagger through my front door in the early hours of the morning. I can’t wake my parents up because they will be mad at me for being so late, treating me like I am a teenager still rather than an adult and I don’t need that right now. Not when I have so much else going on inside my mind. Mostly, the package in my bag that is getting heavier by the moment… metaphorically of course. It isn’t actually heavier; it’s just weighing me down because I want to know what is in it already.
Ivy wanted me to open the gift right away. The curiosity was killing her, and she was dying to see what Seth had brought for me, but I couldn’t open it at the carnival with him there. He might have walked away from me and left me alone to process what had happened, but I could feel the weight of his eyes on me all night long. I don’t want to let him see my feelings.
So, instead I grabbed Ivy and we got shit drunk instead. I drank far more than I would have normally. Especially at the Christmas carnival. I normally like to keep my head up high and lucid. But tonight, I went too far. Being as drunk as I am, hasn’t turned down my nerves at all. I still need to open this package, to see what is inside. Now I am alone and I need to see what this is.
“Fucking hell,” I hiss to myself as I almost fall up the stairs. “What are you playing at, Darcy?”
It’s almost like I’m trying to fall hard, to get my mom out here yelling at me, so I can distract myself for a little while longer, because as soon as I rip open the paper surrounding that gift, I open a can of worms with it. I probably shouldn’t have accepted it at all because it has invited him back into my life, but I couldn’t help myself. Now, we will have to interact. I will have to say thank you and have a conversation with him. I’m not going to buy him a gift of course, because he has everything a man could ever need, but still… we need to talk.
Once I managed to reach the top of the stairs, I lean back against the wall and suck in a deep breath of air, trying to steady myself. I would much prefer for my vision to be clearer. It would also be pretty cool if I didn’t feel like I was going to puke at any given moment.
“You are an idiot, Darcy,” I curse myself. “An absolute idiot. What am I going to do with you?”
Before I can answer that question about myself, I hear a stirring inside of my mother’s room. Much as a part of me wants to get in trouble, the rational side of me doesn’t, because I know how long the lecture will last. It will ruin Christmas Day, all of it, so I dart inside of my room and click the door closed behind me.
Eventually I stumble back on the bed and my bag spills out beside me. The gift peaks out of the top, so I have to pull the package out, and as soon as I do, a stark soberness over comes me. Now is the moment of truth and I am absolutely terrified. I don’t know what to think…
“Okay.” I nod to myself and start pulling at the paper. “Let’s do this.”
My heart pounds, every beat of it all for Seth, and eventually I find myself looking at a box. A familiar box which I know comes from the jewelry store downtown that I don’t own anything from. I have wanted to, of course I have, everyone does, but I haven’t ever purchased anything, because I think of how many other things I could get with that money. Mainly, putting it back into my business or moving out of my parents house. Until now.
Okay, so I know that Seth must have a lot of money now, being a movie star and everything, but this is still too much. It reminds me that he isn’t the boy from next door who couldn’t afford to get anything even from the cheaper end of the toy store anymore. I was the one to help him out then…
I can’t resist peeling the box open, just to see what he thinks is appropriate for me, and I immediately gasp so loudly that I drop the box on my bed. This is a necklace filed with diamonds. The sort of necklace that probably costs more than I have ever made in my life.
“I can’t accept this.” I shake my head hard. “What the hell is he doing?”
I already know that I will take this back to Seth and refuse it because it’s too much for me, but I don’t package it back up right away. I stare at it for far too long trying to picture him in the store picking this out for me. What did he think? Did he imagine it on me? What did he think that it would look like? What would it look like?
Maybe it’s because I have so much booze swirling around in my system it seems like a good idea to try it on, just to see. I won’t keep it, I won’t fall in love with it or anything, but just to see. I mean, it isn’t like I will get another chance like this again, will I? So, I want to just try it on and take a picture to see.
I feel naughty as I pin it around my neck, the diamonds hanging down near my dress, giving me a much more glamorous look than I had before. I tip toe over to my mirror, to get a look and immediately I am blown away. Totally stunned, and I can’t handle it. My vision is no longer blurry, it’s crystal clear, and I don’t think that I have ever felt so sober in my life. And I look good. This necklace really gives me a look like I’m a woman who could belong on a red carpet, given half the chance.
I even cave to the fantasy a bit and parade up and down in my room as if I’m on a catwalk. I imagine people all around me clapping and cheering for me, snapping pictures and admiring us as a couple. I can’t help it; I feel more beautiful than I have ever felt before. It’s really wonderful and I wish that I could keep it.
“But it can’t,” I whisper to myself. “I can’t keep it. This isn’t my world.”
For Seth, in Hollywood, living in LA, I’m sure that a fancy diamond necklace is exactly the sort of gift that someone should give, because the receiver will have plenty of places to wear it. But here, I will look like an idiot in it. It’s fine in my bedroom, but out in the real world, it will look like costume jewelry, I’m sure. Or an invitation for someone to come and mug me. I don’t know what the crime rates are like here, it’s always seemed pretty low, but that’s because I haven’t walked around with something so expensive before.