I narrow my eyes at Benji, wondering how lonely he is here. He got a job after high school in his father’s company, which I’m not sure is his dream, but he’s content. Happy, I’m not so sure. I think he misses the life that we all had when we were younger, and we were all here. But that won’t happen again. We can’t go back to that place. We have all made other lives for ourselves, including Benji. But if I am going to be around, then there is no reason that me and him can’t hang out more. It could even be fun…
“Me and you are here.” I grab him up in a playful hug. “That’s all we need, isn’t it? We have us, the music, food stalls, games, rides, Mr. Portwood from high school dressed as a bad version of Santa…”
I let out a bellowing laugh and Benji eventually joins in. We laugh so hard that we bend double and grab on to our knees. Some of his beer splashes out on to the floor making us laugh harder.
“Oh, by the way.” Once we stop laughing., I reach into my bag and grab out the gift that I purchased for Benji. One wrapped so wonderfully because the girl in the store did an incredible job. “Merry Christmas.”
“Oh my God.” All of the color drains from Benji’s face. “The gift tradition. I totally forgot about it.”
“That doesn’t happen anymore?” I ask, totally confused. “I never thought that would die.”
“When you left and a couple of the guys went off to college, it just kinda… fell apart. Which means I didn’t think of it tonight, so I don’t have anything for you. I can’t take the gift… but thank you.”
I roll my eyes and shove the present in his hands. “Haven’t you heard? I am rich and famous. I don’t need anything. I don’t want a gift from you. I just wanted to get you something. That’s all. Something to apologize because I haven’t been around for the last few years, and now, to bring back that tradition. Since I intend to come to the Christmas carnival every single year, no matter what, we can kick it back up again, can’t we? Make the carnival a big deal, so Fred and the others stick around for it in future. It used to be such a big part of our social lives. We can bring that back, can’t we? I think that would be fun.”
Benji grins, looking happier than I have seen him since I have been back here. I can’t wait for him to tear open the paper and see the new phone that I got him. He has a really crappy first generation, shit, it’s probably the one he had back in high school, so I wanted to give him the latest model.
“What did you do?” he gasps in shock. “This is a bit much, Seth, I can’t handle this…”
“Benji, don’t worry about it. I wanted to. Don’t forget that when we were in high school, I was the one who couldn’t afford the best stuff. People always assumed that I should have been able to because of who my father was, and that I was just being selfish and stingy, except for you and my other close friends, I want to make up for it. So, please, take the phone and keep in touch with me more, okay?”
Finally, after a couple of minutes, Benji accepts my generosity and he nods. “Okay, I will be better at keeping in touch, because you are back here now and you intend to be in my life more, so I will.”
As we hug it out, I feel a bubble of happiness come over me. Spending my money on other people and finding a way to put a smile on their face is amazing and I love it. I want to do this more. Including the moment when I finally give Darcy her gift. The one that I purchased so excitedly because I just know that she will love it.
“Right, come on, before we get emotional…” I laugh at Benji. “Let’s get some more drinks and mingle. If I remember right, the dancing will start soon, and I am looking forward to it.”
“But you never dance.” Benji looks at me questioningly. “Unless you have changed that much?”
“Nah, you know me. I just like to see everyone else having a good time. Let’s go.”
I might have a secret motive here, because I know that Darcy will always be on the dance floor if she hasn’t one hundred percent changed in a dramatic way. She was always the first on and the last off, and she was the one who I wanted to watch have a good time. I used to agonize that I wasn’t confident enough to join her because while I’m self-assured in other areas, moving my body to music isn’t my strongest suit. Today I just want to see her. I don’t mind if she’s strange with me because I’m sure that my gift will bring her around.
Sure enough, once me Benji have drinks and we position ourselves near the dance floor, I find her. Darcy, swinging her hips in perfect rhythm and laughing along with her friend. A friend that I don’t know, not one from high school, which shows that this town hasn’t stopped in time and stayed exactly the same, waiting for me.
Seeing Darcy know someone who I don’t, makes my chest ache. It hits me how much I might have really missed out on when it comes to her. Looking at her now and feeling how she makes me feel, I honestly can’t understand how I turned my back on her, how I forgot about our romance, how I didn’t keep in touch with her to at least keep our friendship alive. How naïve was I in LA? I lost it all…
“She is beautiful, isn’t she?” Benji whispers quietly to me. “I know that you can have all of the women in the world, but there is something special about Darcy McNeill, isn’t there? Something special about your first love.”
I part my lips, about to argue with Benji that it was just a crush, not love with Darcy, but I don’t, because he’s probably right. It’s the closest thing that I have ever felt to love.
“You should talk to her, Seth. Don’t let her slip through your fingers again, if she is the one for you. I’m not just saying that because I want you to come back here full time, because fuck me I have missed you, but because I think you two would be perfect together. You are like the perfect happy ever after.”
“Do I have to choose though?” I ask him seriously. “Between LA and Darcy?”
Of course, Benji doesn’t know the answer to that, so he simply shrugs and sends me on my way. I guess I don’t have much choice but to do what he commands
and follow the siren’s call to Darcy. I came here wanting to see her anyway, to see if we could have another Christmas kiss, so now it’s time to put that plan into action.
Oh God. Nerves are starting to get the better of me, I’m practically shaking with anxiety. This isn’t how I normally feel around Darcy, but I can’t stop it.
“Da… Darcy.” I tap her on the shoulder quickly before I can talk myself out of it. Otherwise, I will stand around like a loser, awkwardly staring at her, getting the attention of everyone else. “Darcy?”
“Oh.”
As she spins to face me, her eyes practically pop out of her head. Her gaze darts towards her friend, and I can see horror there. Yep, I definitely don’t see another Christmas kiss happening this year.
“Seth.”