“Don’t you get it? Nothing!” I swivel around to face him. “There’s nothing you can do. We’re done. It’s over, Haze. We’re over.”
He doesn’t speak for a few seconds.
Then he shakes his head.
“You… You don’t mean that.”
“Yes, I do.”
It seems to hit him like a hundred trucks.
His mouth drops open.
A tear slowly escapes his eye.
Then two.
Then three.
Until he’s full-on crying in silence.
Fuck, I can’t watch this.
“But…” He stops and whispers a faint “I love you.”
My heart splinters right in the middle. I shake my head. Don’t you dare fall for it, Winter.
“Stop lying.” I wipe the tears off my cheeks.
He won’t go down without a fight. “I’m not! Winter, I love you. I love you so fucking much. You have to know that. Please tell me you know that.”
“We’re leaving. Come on.” Allie steps in, grabbing my arm.
He doesn’t miss a beat, following us. “Yes, I lied. Yes, I’m the biggest piece of shit on earth, but I never lied about the way I feel about you. I didn’t make this up. I didn’t make us up. I love you.” His voice is weak, fragile—like cracked glass threatening to break. “Winter, please, I… I can’t lose you.”
In one last desperate attempt, he successfully snatches my hand into his. I don’t have the strength to reject him. Our eyes meet for a second—the longest, deadliest, most unbearable of seconds. His teary eyes flicker with hope. Hope that I destroy in one move.
I take my hand back.
“Waze, come on,” I call over my shoulder, and the pup runs to me. I pick him up into my arms. Kendrick grabs my suitcase without me asking. Then Allie, Kendrick, and I walk out of the apartment together.
One step.
Two steps.
Three steps.
Four steps.
Counting the steps leading to a heartbreaking moment might seem like a bit of a stretch, but for some reason, I’m doing it. Right now. I’m counting my steps.
Five steps.
Six steps.
As if it’ll somehow get easier as the distance between us grows. It doesn’t. But you know what does grow?
The pain.