“We’re not going to do anything about her,” I said.
He looked at me, a ghost of his grin haunting his lips. “Why did I know you were going to say that?”
Anna looked bewildered. “Bear, you can’t be serious! Of course you have to find her! What the hell else are you going to do? You can’t take care of Ty by yourself! You can’t let her get away with this!”
“What the hell else am I supposed to do?” I asked her, anger filling my voice. “What do you think would happen if I found her? Drag her ass back here? How long do you think it would take for her to leave again? Or maybe you think I could just leave Ty with her! Leave Ty with her and go on my merry fucking way. How long do you think it would take before she dumped him somewhere else?” Anna started to cry again, and I felt bad, but not so bad that I would retract what I was saying or change my mind.
“Bear,” Creed said gently, “what about school? You can’t go to school and work like you planned to do and be able to take care of the Kid. There’s not enough time in the world for that.”
“I know,” I said, trying my damnedest to keep the bitterness out of my voice. “That’s why I’m not going.”
“Oh, Bear,” Anna said, clutching her face.
“Don’t give me that,” I snapped. “It’s not like this is your problem.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” Creed hissed at me. “This is our problem as much as it is yours. I love that kid as much as you do, so don’t spout that line of bullshit to me.”
“Bear, at least we should call the police or something,” Anna sobbed.
“No. No police. What do you think would happen if they were called? Do you really think they would let Ty stay with me? Of course not! Think about it for one goddamned second. They would take him away quicker than you could blink and drop him with some social worker or a foster home. I won’t let that happen to him. Now, I can’t stop you from telling your parents,” I said, warning them. “They would probably figure it out at some point anyway. But I swear to God if any of them call the cops or do anything to find her, I’ll take Ty and we’ll go someplace else, and you will never see either of us again.”
Anna and Creed stared at me in disbelief. I wouldn’t look at Otter for some reason. I wonder now if it was because I was scared that he was thinking bad things about me, and I didn’t want to see it written all over his face. I don’t know why.
Creed sighed and rubbed his hands through his hair. “Well, if there’s one good thing about this, at least my family has a whole shitload of disposable income.”
I shook my head. “I don’t want your money, Creed.” With that, the whole table erupted.
I know what you’re thinking: Bear, you’re an asshole. But let’s see you be seventeen and decide to give up your whole future. Let’s see you realize that you can’t depend on anyone because sooner or later, they all leave. I know it wasn’t fair that I immediately distrusted everyone around me, but I didn’t know what else to do. My pride was the only thing I really had left that was mine, and I would be damned if they took that from me too. You also have to understand that that was a while ago, remember? Things are a little bit different now.
But at the time, it was still all too fresh in my mind.
Creed and Anna kept trying to talk over each other, protesting everything I had said, until I heard Otter say, “Everyone out. Now.” I had only seen Otter truly pissed off once or twice, and it had never been directed toward me. But when Otter got mad, everyone else got scared. He was a big guy, even then, but he never really yelled. There was, however, this quiet anger that he had that could make you quake in your shoes. Anna and Creed heard the tone in his voice and ceased immediately.
“Out,” he repeated.
Whatever, I thought as I stood. I needed to go check on Ty.
“Not you, Bear. You sit down.”
Yes, sir, I thought meekly, feeling strangely like a child about to be punished.
Anna and Creed looked back and forth between me and Otter and must not have liked what they saw because they left very quickly. Once again, I didn’t dare look at Otter because I was scared what I would see, but not so scared to the point where I’d change my mind about what I was deciding to do. If Otter was going to try to convince me otherwise, then he could go to hell. I didn’t care how mad he got. Let him tear the world apart for all I cared. I knew what I had to do.
“Now you listen to me and you listen good,” he said, his voice level and stern. “I know this situation sucks. I can’t even begin to know what it feels like, but I can at least imagine. What I can’t imagine, is how you can sit there and try to drive everyone else away. We are only trying to help, and this would go a lot smoother if you just let us.”
“But—” I protested.
Otter cut me off. “Bear, shut up.” I glared at him, and he didn’t avert his eyes. When he was sure I wasn’t going to try and speak again, he continued. “This happened to you, yes, and it happened to Ty. But if you think that it doesn’t affect anyone else, you need to guess again. Why do you think we’re here now if we didn’t want to help?” I opened my mouth to speak until he growled, “That was a rhetorical question. Now, you’re going to let us help you, let us be there for you, and if I hear any more of this ‘on my own’ bullshit you’re spewing, I will not hesitate to knock you down a few pegs myself. Do you understand?”
I nodded weakly.
“Good. Now, are you sure you don’t want to call the police? And that you don’t want to try and look for her?”
I thought for a moment, then shrugged. He seemed to take that as a no, because he knew that’s what I really meant.
He sighed. “This is such a shit storm, Bear. You know it’s going to get a hell of a lot harder before it gets any easier. I don’t know whether to hug you or throttle you.”
I smiled at this, though it felt foreign on my face.