I’d never been to a funeral before, and the idea of it caused a shiver to run through my body. Joey turned his hand over in mine and gently squeezed; he must have felt my coldness.
“What happened after I left the waiting room, Joey?”
He sighed. “Lots of crying. I left and went to sit with Drew because I didn’t want to intrude. I’m sorry this has happened to your family. For what it’s worth, I don’t think any of it is necessary, and what you said was true. Things are falling apart but it could be so much worse. They could have lost you. We could all be dead. And I think Jason was right too. The way they’ve treated you has been shitty. And over what? A relationship that makes more sense than it probably should.” He chuckled softly. “It shouldn’t work. You know, the age gap, and all his issues. But anyone who’s seen you together will get it. More than anything, you’re friends, and no matter what happens, you’ll always have that.”
Why could Joey see that so easily but everyone else saw something dirty and disgusting? Why couldn’t everyone give us a chance?
“Thank you, Joey.”
He squeezed my hand again as the cab pulled up outside the hotel. After paying the driver, Joey and I climbed out, and my stomach churned. What if Jason wasn’t there? What if he’d disappeared; how would I find him when I had no idea where anything was, or what kind of places he might be? It could be as simple as checking nearby coffee shops, or as complicated as finding somewhere totally obscure, because he really didn’t want to be found yet.
As we entered the lobby, a woman of around sixty gasped when she spotted Joey, and she ran towards him, enveloping him into a hug, and leaving the woman at the reception desk looking a little perplexed since she’d obviously been checking her in. Joey collapsed into her arms. That was all it took for him to break down, and my eyes welled up – no matter how old a man gets, he always need his mum.
I gently rested a hand on his shoulder and jerked my head towards the lift to let him know I’d be okay to look for Jason on my own. He nodded, and I left them alone.
The slow rise to the fourth floor seemed like an eternity as my heart thudded harder, hoping and praying Jason would be in his room. In his room, and okay. My feet picked up pace and I ran along the corridor, and when I reached number four-forty-three, I knocked on the door.
“Jase? Jase, are you in there?”
I took in a long, deep breath and waited. Only a few seconds passed before he opened the door and pulled me inside, pressing me to him. Relief made my limbs weaken, and I melted against him.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered as he buried
his hand in my hair. “I’m sorry.”
I breathed him in, like I’d been away from him for years instead of an hour, and held onto him in a way that let him know I wouldn’t let go. “What for? You have nothing to be sorry about.”
“I shouldn’t have left you there.”
“It doesn’t matter. I didn’t stay. I yelled at Ellie then left. I sat in the canteen and waited for you.”
Jason placed his hands on my cheeks and gently moved me back a little so he could look in my eyes. “I’m sorry about that too. I know I was supposed to call, but-”
I shook my head to cut him off. “It’s fine. As long as you’re okay.”
“I’m okay.”
He gently pressed his lips to mine, and we went to sit on his bed. I kicked off my shoes before we snuggled up the way we had earlier.
“Nobody has called me since I left the waiting room,” I said as I rested my head on Jason’s chest and he curled his arm around me. “But Joey came back to the hotel with me. When we arrived, his mum had just got here.”
“That’s good. He needs some time away from the hospital. I’ll call Dad in a while and see how things are, but I’m not ready to go back yet.”
“Me neither. I just want to be here with you.”
The two of us sat in silence for a while, both of us lost in our own thoughts. I was jetlagged as hell, and it was getting close to what should be bed time according to my body clock, but my mind was still racing too much for me to fully relax enough to sleep. There was too much tension, and too much to worry about.
Jason’s hand slipped into my hair, gently curling the ends around his fingers, releasing them, and starting again. I shuffled a little higher up the bed so I could touch his lips with mine, and he moved his hand to my cheek then slowly down my neck to my shoulder, leaving a trail of tingles in its wake. After the events of the last twenty-four hours, and the last few weeks, being back in Jason’s arms was pure heaven. Nobody else mattered in that moment. Jason’s eyes stared deep into mine. Without words, I tried to convey everything I felt, everything I wanted. What the hell was I waiting for? In seconds, lives had been lost and lives had been changed. I was sitting with the man I’d loved for years but I could just as easily have been sitting in the hospital beside Ellie, waiting to find out if he’d pull through, or worse. I could have never got the chance to see him again.
“Luce,” he whispered, his fingers moving into my hair again as his eyes darkened a little. “It’s too soon.”
“Why?” I asked, my voice soft. “Why is it too soon?”
“You know why. And I promised you we would take this slowly.”
“We’ve been sensible, Jase. So far, we’ve done what was right, even when it wasn’t what we wanted. Everything we’ve done has been to make everyone else happy. What about us? What about what we want?”
Jason’s hand slipped around to the back of my neck. “We’ve got time, Lucy. We don’t need to rush this. I made a promise to you, and I’ve broken so many promises. I don’t want to break my promise to you.”