“Okay…”
“And we were thinking, why not take a little guy trip of our own? After all, it’s not like we have much else going on with all the women gone.”
“Why do I get the feeling that this trip is going to land us about roughly nine-hundred miles away from here?”
“Because, River Ray, you’re a goddamned genius,” Mika deadpans.
“I’m smart enough not to go and crash Mikaela’s bachelorette party. PK has put in hours and hours of meticulous planning. There is no way I am getting involved with this.”
“They won’t even know we are there. We can watch them from afar,” Mika points out.
“Yeah, that doesn’t sound creepy at all,” I tell him as I roll my eyes. “Listen, my sister has a bit of a temper, especially since you knocked her up. But compared to Phoenix, she’s a kitty cat. I am not going anywhere near Nashville.”
“Are you scared of my sister?” Mika teases.
“I know for a fact you’re scared of mine,” I shoot back.
He laughs. “It’s true, your sister can be terrifying when she wants to be.”
“No need to tell me, I grew up with her. And trust me when I say, she won’t be pleased if she thinks we don’t trust them to be on a girl’s trip.”
“I trust my wife implicitly. I don’t trust most other people. They’ll never even have to know that we’re there.”
“And maybe they’ll end up wishing we were there, and we can surprise them. They might appreciate the fact that we were thinking about them,” Eric interjects.
“Yeah…about that. I might have hacked the floral store’s records and found out what flowers you send most frequently.”
“Why the fuck would you do that?” Eric asks.
“Duh, brownie points,” I tell him. “Not just ours, Ben and Drew too.”
“I can’t even begin to express how incredibly invasive, not to mention, illegal that shit is,” Eric replies.
“And you call my intentions creepy?” Mika says.
“Hey, I wanted to send PK some flowers, and I didn’t want you guys to look bad,” I reply with a shrug.
“Okay, fine. Can we all just admit that we have blurred boundaries when it comes to our ladies?” Mika says.
“I want to point out that I have done nothing as creepy as either of you,” Eric interjects.
“Don’t go throwing stones my friend, you know what they say about glass houses,” Mika replies.
“Name a single thing,” Eric retorts.
“Coming from the man who deflowered his best friend’s little sister and lied about it for years.”
“Seriously? Deflowered? Coming from your mouth?” Eric scoffs.
“As amusing as this little conversation is,” I interject. “I would like to get back to work and get some things done,” I tell the two men.
I pretend to turn my attention to the screens in front of me.
/> “Well, Ben and Drew are meeting us at the airstrip. Wheels up in two hours if you wanna join.”
“Thanks,” I reply. “I think I’m good.”
Even I am not convinced as I utter the words. And I don’t think anyone is surprised when about ninety minutes later, I walk onto the jet with my duffle bag tossed over my shoulder.