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She hugs me, forgetting her earlier concerns about getting makeup on her wedding gown, and I just smile and nod back. Maybe Mom is getting her big island of happiness again, but I’m still last week’s floating Styrofoam cup. “Yeah, we’ll see.”

Chapter 13

Derrick

“I really think tonight’s sponsor should be ChapStick or something,” I joke, glancing again at the pre-show sheet. “I mean . . . blowjobs? They actually approved that one?”

“Well, there was a few requirements,” Susannah says, smiling. She’s been a lot nicer today than the past couple of days. I dunno, maybe whatever was biting her ass has worked itself out, or maybe she just realized being pissed wasn’t doing us any favors.

“What’s that?” I ask, sipping my water and already thinking to tonight. Kat . . . blowjobs . . . Kat’s blowjobs . . . fuck, I’m hard again. “Sorry, one more time?”

“I said, they want us to do a series of shows on oral sex,” Susannah says, looking at her clipboard.

I groan. “Sounds like we’re going to be fielding a lot of callers to fill all that time.”

“We’ll make it work like usual,” she replies. “You ready?”

“Five minutes,” I reply. “Just want to make sure . . . well, no early bathroom breaks.”

I rush to the bathroom, pulling my phone out of my pocket as soon as I’m in the stall. Thinking of u.

Oh? What’s tonight’s show?

I smirk, wondering if I should tell the truth or not. You’ll just have to listen and find out. See you tonight.

I do try to force out whatever’s inside, but no dice. Still, I flush and get to the studio just in time to plop down in my chair. The entry music starts, and I lean into my mic just as Suz gives me a thumbs up. “Good evening, listeners! This is Derrick King, the Love Whisperer, welcoming you to the next three hours of advice, music, and a little bit of fun. With me, of course, is my right-hand woman, Susannah ‘Don’t Call Her Jenna’ Jameson.”

“Tonight’s show is about a subject that, well, let’s just say it’s near and dear to my heart.”

“I didn’t know your heart was next to your balls,” Susannah jokes, and I have to grin, that was a good one.

“Well, let’s just say I’ve thought about this subject a lot. You want to have the honor of telling our audience what we’ll be discussing?”

“Sure, D. Tonight, let’s talk fellatio. Blowjobs, knob slobbing, or sucking cock. Take your pick. If it involves dicks and lips, we’re gonna talk about it tonight.”

“Hell of an intro. I always liked the term blowjob myself,” I admit. “By the way, if blowjobs aren’t your thing, don’t worry folks, we’re having a show on licking pussy too. But for now, you know the deal. Give us a call, drop us an email, the lines are open. First, let’s go to an email. Suz, will you start us off?”

“Love to,” Susannah says, lowering her voice to a sultry purr to set the tone. She’s got a great range of voices, from shrill to sexy. I guess that’s why she’s working in this business. “Dear Love Whisperer, I’ve got a problem. You see, my boyfriend wants me to blow him, but I struggle with it. Am I doing it right? Is he gonna choke me? What about when he comes . . . what do I do? His birthday is coming up, and I’d love to give him this gift. See if I can make it happen for him. Advice? From Kitty.”

Kitty? Great, just fucking awesome. I’m trying to work, and all I can think of is Kat crawling across the floor like a kitten, her lips stretched wide around my cock, balls deep in her mouth. Shit. Focus, I gotta be a pro here. “Well, Kitty,” I husk, licking my lips before I can continue, “first off, I’d like to say you’re quite the girlfriend if you’re worried about this. For a lot of guys, blowjobs tend to consist of a little begging, some half-hearted licks, and then it’s time to move on.”

“Not me,” Susannah teases, and I give her a raised eyebrow. She normally doesn’t get this expressive, maybe she’s just really into it tonight. “I love feeling my man slide over my tongue.”

“That’s the thing,” I add in. “Kitty, there’s two main ingredients to a good blowjob. One, you have to really devote yourself to it. Don’t just do it because you think he’ll like it, you have to suck him off because you want to. Show some excitement about it because it’s supposed to sexy and fun! Second, pay attention to what he likes. Does he want it hard, lots of tongue action, deep throating, hands involved or not involved? Maybe some ball play or even a little bit of anal play. Pay attention to what he likes, and then when you find out, give it to him and don’t hold back.”


Tags: Lauren Landish Get Dirty Erotic