“So Derrick, what do you like?” Susannah asks, a gossipy tone to her voice. “I’m sure our listeners would love to know your hottest desires . . . fast and rough, teasing little sucks, maybe the grapefruit trick I’ve been hearing about?”
I purse my lips, thinking, and all I can see is Kat. My cock throbs in my pants, and I smirk before answering. “I’m gonna be honest, I’m not sure there’s such a thing as a bad blowjob. Unless there’s teeth,” I say, a shudder of fear snaking through my body. “But I’m sure some guys are into that too. But I’d advise on a Q-and-A before going that route, ladies. But let’s just say that I’m loving what I’m getting.”
“Oh, he must be good then,” Susannah shoots back, a little cattier than I expected, but before I can say anything she gives a big laugh. “All right, let’s try a caller. Go ahead, Eric.”
I don’t have time to ask Suz what the fuck was up with that crack because I’ve gotta help this caller. “Yeah, uh first thing, big fan Derrick, you’ve helped me a lot with my girl. Big props to you.”
“Thanks Eric. What can I help you with tonight?”
“Well, how can I convince my girl that swallowing isn’t deadly? I swear every time she goes down on me it’s either she pulls off in time for me to blow on her face, or she starts spitting like a garden sprinkler. But I really, really want to see her take a mouthful and swallow it down, know what I mean?”
“I do, it’s a pretty common thing for a lot of guys,” I reply, trying to pull my thoughts together. “At the same time, a lot of women don’t like it. Some of it is cultural or demographic, they’ve been taught that cum is somehow dirty or gross. Spitting can feel like they’re rejecting you on some level, and swallowing seems sexy, like they’re taking a part of you into themselves.” I pause. Susannah raises a hand at me, and I segue to include her, “Susannah, what’s your take?”
She smiles, her eyes glinting with naughtiness, “So many thoughts. From the woman’s perspective, there’s a point of gag where nothing’s going to stop your body’s natural reaction. The trick is to get behind the gag or in front of it. She needs to take you deeper down her throat so that when you come, it goes down easier. Or, maybe compromise and stay in front of the gag, come into her open mouth, get the visual of her with a mouthful and then she swallows like a good girl without the pressure of you continuing to fuck her face at the same time.”
“Good advice. Thanks for the female point of view. Also, Eric . . . man-to-man here, this might not be about her. Are you making it attractive for her to want to put her face in your crotch? I mean, what’s your lifestyle like?”
“Uhm, I’m pretty busy. I work long hours but do my best to stay healthy. I take vitamins, stuff like that.”
“All good, but before you want to get down with your lady, make sure you’re showered and fresh, and stay hydrated,” I reply. “And lay off alcohol, caffeine, and if you do smoke . . . well, this is another reason to quit. Eat right too. All of these things have been shown to affect the taste of your cum. Keep it clean, keep it healthy, and hopefully tasty.”
We continue, and I give Eric a few pointers. Once we’re done, it’s time for a music break, so I turn it over to Susannah, who spins Madonna’s ‘Like a Prayer.’
“Little old school, isn’t it?” I ask once the mics are off. She gives me a look, and there’s something different about the way she’s looking at me. Back to that upset look, I don’t know.
“Best song about blowjobs ever made,” Susannah says before singing along with some of the lyrics. I raise my eyebrow. She’s got a point, but I’ve got other things on my mind.
Leaving the booth, I pull out my phone, texting Kat. You listening?
Of course. And no, I’m not Kitty, just in case you were wondering. I know just how to make you come in my mouth. And don’t worry, it’s delicious.
I moan, thinking of the sight of her and text back. I wish I could see you naked and with my dick in your mouth right now.
Well, we’ll see if I can make that happen later.
I hear the song wrapping up, so I hop back in the booth while Susannah grumbles. “We’ve got work to do.”
“Chill Suz, we’ve got this,” I reply. Madonna finishes up her ode to the sacrilegious blowjob, and we go to an email about a woman who gets off most when she’s got her head tilted back off the edge of the bed. The idea’s hot, though I’ve never tried it. I toss it to Susannah. “I dunno, Suz, sounds like a good way to get a head rush for the sucker, not the suck-ee.”