I can’t help but grimace. “You’re freaking me out. It’s like you have a little old man inside you who spent seventy years with the love of his life and now has golden advice.”
“I’m being serious,” he says, giving me a chastising smirk. “Go to her and force her to talk about these things.”
“You think?” I’m hesitant to admit it, but he might be right.
“I know.”
Pride blooms within me that my son possesses such an inherent empathy. It’s not something you can teach.
But then a new worry hits me. “How would you feel about me and Greer being together?”
Ethan considers that a moment. “Well, I don’t really know her. But if you love her, I guess that’s all that matters.”
“She may not want to live in Pittsburgh.” While I want to give Greer as much latitude to serve her wants and needs, the thought of leaving my son, and Pittsburgh, turns my stomach.
“Sounds like the face-to-face is more important than ever,” he says noncommittally.
“I’m not sure I’m willing to leave you if she won’t come to Pittsburgh,” I point out.
“You’re looking for problems before they even happen,” he counters, and I know without a doubt, today he’s the adult in our relationship.
I put aside the Pittsburgh issue, because while that might be a hurdle we can’t overcome, it’s not the most pressing question. I need to know if Greer wants to give this a go.
“You okay staying at your mom’s for a few days while I go to California?” I ask him. He’s supposed to be with me through the weekend, but Ethan’s easygoing, and we’ll make it up. Britney’s always willing to switch.
“I’ll be fine,” he assures me.
“Then I’ll do it,” I say with resounding excitement. I’m not sure why I didn’t just take charge and do this already.
Ethan leans over in his chair, claps a hand on my shoulder, and looks at me solemnly. “I’m so proud of you.”
I shrug his hand off with a faux look of creeped out disgust. “Stop it. You’re weirding me out again.”
And then my son breaks into laughter, and I join him.
CHAPTER 24
Greer
The blue vase shot through with undulating strands of cream-colored glass was a gift I’d bought my mother for the birthday before she died. She had turned sixty and declared it her most favorite gift ever from me, although she said that every birthday.
It’s a sad smile that plays upon my lips as I roll it up in newspaper and place it in the box labeled Storage. This will be saved alongside all the other precious memories I have of my parents.
I pack extra crumpled newspaper around the vase and seal up the box with two strips of packing tape. I carry it to the edge of the living room and set it down with the other four boxes also bound for storage. Across the room sit eleven more boxes. They’re going to charity.
The living room is now empty, except for the furniture—which will also be donated—but I’m keeping the azure-and-saffron silk rug my father bought my mother when they traveled to Turkey. If I ever have my own house, it will go in my living room.
Putting my hands against my lower back, I stretch backward to alleviate some of the tightness there. I’ve been packing up my parents’ house for the past six days, and this is the last room. My body is feeling it, but so is my heart. The decision to sell didn’t come lightly.
In fact, I’m still struggling with whether I’ve made the right call. It’s hard to cut ties with my past in this way, but I remind myself I have their memories and some precious mementos that maybe I’ll hand down to my children one day.
What really fueled my desire to sell was knowing that I have to set my life on a new course, and if I keep this house, it will be my excuse to not make changes. I’ve held on to it the last four years as a crutch to stay in a life that really held no true joy.
Now… I have to decide what to do with this new, unencumbered life.
The clear and obvious choice is Ladd. But within that choice, there are other choices to make. He wants me to come to Pittsburgh, and I have a job offer with Jameson.
Yet Director Rasmussen was so impressed with how I went after Mejia and brought to light treason within his own agency, he’s offered me Gayla Newman’s position as the director of operations for Central and South America. This would be the ultimate career move for me, and while some travel would be necessary, it would mostly be a desk job in Langley.
Best of all, Langley is but a four-hour drive from Pittsburgh and a mere one-hour flight. Ladd and I could manage a relationship in two different cities. We did just fine when we were together before and both working for the CIA.