“Elaine—” but she’d ended the call.
The line was silent, and my head dropped. I lay back on the bed, pressing my palms against my eyes. Pain hit me again and again like a sledgehammer to the chest, and all I could think of was Elaine, her beautiful smile, her touch. I’d lost her again, but this time it was my fault. And I was pretty sure she wouldn’t be back in a week. My insides clenched so hard, my knees bent, and I rolled onto my side, pressing my face into the pillow. It still smelled like her. Jesus.
I felt the lightest touch on my shoulder and blinked back. Worried blue eyes watched me.
“Hey,” I rolled over and sat up, temporarily forgetting the pain hammering my insides. I had to take care of what was happening here. Elaine was right about that at least.
Kenny hesitated, then she lifted her hand and touched my cheek with the backs of her slim fingers. “Are you crying?”
Quickly, I shoved any moisture away. “It’s not about you. Or the baby.”
Her dark brow pierced, and I could tell she didn’t believe me. “Bee sting or needle?”
My phone dropped out of my hand, as I covered my eyes against the warm mist. “You were right.” My voice was thick. “Nothing hurts as bad as this.”
She leaned forward and hugged me. “Nothing kicks the shit out of you like love.”
I held her back, speaking into her hair. “And I really fucking love her.”
She pulled away and studied my face a moment then cupped it in her hands, wiping her thumbs under my eyes. The memory of us in the back of my car, me doing the same thing to her crossed my mind. “Then we’re really fucking going to get her back.”
Shaking my head, I took her hands and brought them down to my lap. “She thought you were a guy.”
“Why did you let her think that?”
“I didn’t mean to… It’s hard to explain.” Exhaling heavily, I m
oved to sit against the headboard, pushing the pillows up behind me. She crawled up next to me and rested her head on my chest. Slim arms went around my waist, my arm was over her shoulder. “How are you feeling?” I said.
She shrugged. “Exhausted. All the time.”
Holding her like this, thinking about Elaine’s words, I was at a total loss. This situation had sent everything into a tailspin. If Kenny had my baby, we’d be bonded in a way—a way I wasn’t sure how to interpret. I did care about this tiny woman, but not as my wife. Elaine’s face was all over that category in my heart.
“I have to tell you the truth,” I said quietly. “This is kind of blowing my mind a little.”
“How do you think I feel?” she sighed. “I’ve been thinking about it nonstop for two weeks. That’s why I finally came here. I knew you could help me figure it out. I’m just sorry I messed up everything for you.”
My grip tightened on her shoulder. “I’ll work that out. You said you want to keep the baby, but what does that mean? Do you need money? Do you need me to help you find a place?”
Her shoulder went up and down. “I don’t know. I probably should tell my parents.”
“Okay,” I nodded. “I’ll go with you to do that.”
“Thanks,” she said.
The sky flashed briefly, and a roll of thunder vibrated the windows. Kenny’s arm tightened over my waist, and I rubbed her slim shoulder.
“I’m really tired now,” she said.
I was comfortable enough, and I was pretty sure I’d be awake all night anyway. “Sleep,” I said. “I’ll take care of you. Don’t worry about anything.”
“Thanks, Patrick,” she said, and I could hear her voice growing distant. “One thing’s for sure. It’ll be a beautiful baby.”
My throat tightened as the noise of the rain grew louder. Kenny fell asleep quickly, and I held her, my brain cycling through everything that just happened. Thunder rumbled, and all I could think of was Elaine out there somewhere, alone in this storm thinking who knew what.
Memories of walking on the beach with her, of her mentioning the little student and thinking about my babies… pain clenched my chest again, and I picked up my phone. One more time, I had to be sure she knew. I texted, I love you.
* * *