“Don’t you dare.” Her voice was quiet, but sharp. She sniffed, and my own eyes grew damp.
I caught her waist, stopping her as she tried to walk out my door. “Please. You can’t drive back to Wilmington like this.”
She wouldn’t look at me. “I’m not. I’ll get a room for the night.”
“Stay with me… I can explain.”
She only pushed my arms away and dashed out the door. I followed, but she wouldn’t stop. She was down the stairs and at her car without looking back. I stood on the sidewalk as the first drops of rain started to fall, watching as her tail lights disappeared around the corner.
* * *
My heart was through the floor. Kenny was beside me on the couch as I sat like a zombie, sending what felt like the five thousandth text message to Elaine. They all said the same things, I’m sorry. I love you. Please talk to me. It’s not what you think. We can figure this out.
I’d given up calling when I’d gotten her voice mail for the fifth time.
“I’m so sorry, Patrick.” Kenny’s voice was quiet as she watched me type. “I thought you were alone.”
Pressing my lips together, I put the phone down but against my leg in case it vibrated. “It’s not your fault. Elaine surprised me tonight.” The memory, that red bra, was another twist to the knife in my insides.
“I should’ve told you I was coming. I just—”
“Forget it. Let’s talk about this,” I said. My throat was tight, everything was tight, but we had some major decision-making ahead of us. “What do you want to do?”
She sat back then, crossing her legs in front of her as she faced me. “I’m thinking a hundred things at once,” she sighed. “I can’t do this alone, but we’re not a couple. I can’t tell my parents, but they’re going to find out eventually. I can’t afford my own place…” Then her head dropped into her hands, and her voice broke. “Oh, god, what makes me think I can have a baby if I can’t even afford my own place?”
Tears hit her cheeks, and that old protectiveness I had for her resurfaced. “Stop.” I pulled her to me, rubbing her back. “It doesn’t matter that we’re not a couple. I’m still here. I can help you get a place or whatever you need.”
“I’m sorry, I’ve been trying not to cry,” she sniffed, sitting back, and wiping her eyes with the back of her hands. Now I understood why her mascara was smudged. “Fucking tequila. I can’t believe I’m pregnant. God, Patrick, I feel like… such an idiot high schooler.”
“We’ll figure it out,” I said, pulling her hands into my lap and rubbing them. “Tell me what you want to do. Do you want to keep it?”
Her lips tightened and for a moment she sat quietly holding my hands. Then her blue eyes rose to mine, and she nodded as my phone buzzed beside me.
“Okay, we’ll start there,” I said. My eyes went to the phone, and the name that had been circling through my mind for the last hour appeared. Elaine. “Hang on.”
Scooping it up, I ran back to my bedroom. “Elaine?”
“I only called because you won’t stop texting.” Her voice was soft, but I could tell she’d been crying. My chest ached, and I wanted to find her, bring her back to me, hold her until she saw this didn’t change anything between us. Nothing could change how I felt about her.
“I’m so glad you did,” I said. “We’ve got to talk this out.”
“I can’t help feeling like you lied to me. About a lot of things.”
I shook my head, but she couldn’t see me. “It wasn’t like that. When you said that, when I realized your mistake, I wasn’t really thinking about Kenny being a girl or how it looked…”
“It looks like you slept with her,” she said, and my stomach ached.
“I did, but—”
“And she texts you all the time. You’re obviously very close,” I heard her breath catch. “And now she’s having your baby?”
“None of that changes how I feel about you.”
“This is why long distance doesn’t work. I can’t do this, Patrick.”
Her words cut through me, and everything in me rejected what she was saying. “No. Elaine, please.” My voice was breaking now, along with my heart.
“I need a break. You need to deal with… what’s happening. I’ll call you when I’m ready to talk.”