She wondered how he’d react to her new shape, but when both of his hands came around to cover the swell, Lily knew he was just as excited about their growing baby as she was.
Nash dropped to his knees, laying his forehead against her stomach as his thumbs stroked her bare skin. The thought that this child could already bring such a strong man to his knees was so sexy.
Lily threaded her fingers through his much shorter hair. “I’ve missed you so much,” she whispered.
The first rumble of thunder shook the house, rain pelted the windows harder now. Nash glanced up at her, a storm of his own flashing through his expressive eyes as he came back to his feet and gathered her against him.
He tilted his face against her neck, his lips tickling her skin and sending jolts of need streaming through her...as if she needed any more encouragement to want this man.
“I’ve needed this,” he murmured. “Needed you.”
Lily wrapped her arms around his bare waist. “You’ll always have me, Nash. I’m in this forever, but you keep holding back. When will you open up and let me in? Finally see that what we have only gets stronger each day?”
Nash pulled back, and lightning flashed through the window, illuminating his handsome, yet troubled face. “I’ve always known how strong we are, Lily. I’ve never doubted it, never once thought what we had wasn’t real. I didn’t want to admit it at first because I knew you’d be leaving and I was going to have to say goodbye, so I was protecting myself. But you mattered to me the second I made you mine up in that loft.”
Her body trembled at the memory even though she had a sinking feeling there was more to what he had to say.
“You’re right, I’ve been holding back.” He stepped away, raking a hand down his smooth jaw. “I never intended for you to get caught in this war I made with myself. I figured once you were gone and we parted ways you’d never have to know.”
Chills crept up her spine. What was he about to confess? Was he married? Did he already have children somewhere? Was he dying? The endless questions swirled around in her head until she thought she’d pass out.
Gripping the back of the sofa, Lily met his gaze head-on. She wasn’t about to cower now. Whatever he was on the verge of telling her obviously was tearing him up, too. If they were going to be a couple, they needed to face the crisis together.
“You said that about Damon being your father,” she told him. “Is there another secret you’ve kept from me?”
“I need you to know I never meant for you to be affected by this.”
Wrapping her arms around herself to ward off the tremors overtaking her body, Lily held her ground. She didn’t move, didn’t blink. Whatever this was, it was bad.
“You also need to know that I love you,” he continued. “I fell in love with you before you told me about the baby. I’ve wanted to tell you, wanted you to know.”
When he stepped forward and reached for her, Lily took a step back, holding her arms out to her side. “Don’t. Don’t preface whatever bomb you’re about to drop with love and think that will fix this. You’re picking an awfully convenient time to express the feelings I’ve tried to get you to share for a while now.”
Nash nodded, drawing in a shaky breath. “You’re right. You deserve more than what I’ve given. Just promise you’ll hear me out before you make any decisions regarding us, our baby.”
“Just tell me!” she yelled, fear spawning her outcry.
The lights flickered, but came right back on as thunder and lightning filled the night. How apropos for everything that was taking place inside this house, inside her heart.
“My real name is Jacob Nash Roycroft. I’m known as Jake to nearly everybody.” He took a deep breath and let it out. “I’m not a groom, I’m a horse owner myself. All of this was a setup to spy on Damon.”
Air left Lily’s lungs as she stared at the man who was quickly becoming a stranger right before her eyes. “Why?” she whispered.
“Damon Barrington has been my rival for a couple of years now.” Nash glanced down, raking a hand over his head before he lifted his tormented eyes to meet hers again. “We both own racehorses and I knew he and his girls were retiring. I wanted to go undercover so I could see how to get some of his prizewinning horses because he wouldn’t sell them to me. I also wanted to see him as a man outside of the business world. I didn’t even know going in if I would tell him about being his son. Every single day I battled this and before I knew it, we were in an affair and by then I was in too deep.”