“Damn it, Reed. Do you know how much your stupidity is costing? This is the third time I’ve rescheduled with these radio stations. You’re good honey, but Garth Brooks wouldn’t be good enough to reschedule and reschedule with these guys.”
“I didn’t ask you to reschedule this last time, Trisha. I told you, I’m needed at home and that’s more important to me than a radio tour.”
“You’re pissing away what could be a million-dollar career, Reed. Hell, with the kind of talent you have, it could be more. Are you really prepared to let go of everything you’ve dreamed of for a woman?”
Oh, God. Hearing them talk and everything the woman is saying is like a sucker punch to the gut. I wondered how Reed had put everything on hold to be here and now I know the truth. He’s giving up everything to be here. As if hearing my thoughts, Reed seems to echo my thoughts.
“Absolutely. I am going to be here for Callie, Trisha. She’s my first priority.”
“I can’t continue to represent you under these circumstances, kid and not to blow my own horn, I can get you farther in this industry than anyone else out there.”
“I appreciate it, Trisha. It may not seem like I do, but it’s true. Callie needs me and I’m not leaving her side.”
I walk backwards, feeling like the weight of the world is crashing down on me. At some point, I must have turned around to go up the steps to the porch and go inside, but I can’t physically remember doing it. I think I’m in shock.
Callie needs me.
I don’t know that he could have said anything that would have made me feel much better—I truly don’t. Still, knowing that he’s here because he feels I need him is one of the worst pains I’ve endured. I’m someone he feels responsible for.
It’s not that he said he wants to stay. It’s a choice. A choice that he’s making because he thinks I’m fragile and can’t stand on my own. I walk quickly to the bedroom and close the door and lock it. I slide to the floor as my knees buckle, unable to hold my weight.
CHAPTER 37
Callie
I rinse off the supper dishes as if on auto pilot. I somehow made it through dinner without breaking down. I know it’s coming, though. Reed and I are going to have to have a serious talk—and I’m not sure I’m ready.
“Is something wrong, Bluebird?” Reed questions, putting a couple of dishes beside me so that I can rinse them off.
“What do you mean?” I ask, playing dumb.
“I mean, you’ve barely spoken all evening. You’re refusing to look at me. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know that something’s up,” he reasons.
I take a shuddering breath and try to store up courage that I’m not sure I have.
“Fine. If you want to have this out, we will.”
“Then, let me have it, baby.”
“What are we doing here, Reed?” I ask, leaning some on the counter. I don’t want him to see how hard this is for me. Any type of confrontation feels like I’m inviting a fight. It definitely doesn’t feel safe.
“Are you trying to talk in riddles, Callie?”
“Why are you here? Why are you bothering with me? Why are you holding me at night?”
“Because I care. Because we have a connection that very few people could ever have. There’s a couple of reasons, Callie, but I think we both know that they aren’t the only ones.”
I just look at him, heartbroken.
“Every bad thing that’s ever happened to you is because of me, Reed.”
“Now you’re just talking crazy, Callie,” he replies as if he can’t understand what I’m saying.
“I’m not and you know it, Reed. I’m a poison to you. Chasity, Mitch’s vindictiveness, breaking your heart, all of it right up to the visit by the police. It all points back to me, Reed. I’m the cause of the worst moments in your life.”
“Damn it, Callie.”
“If I weren’t here, you would have found a good woman and had a good life with her.”
“There’s one thing you’re not counting on, Bluebird.”
“I don’t think so.”
“You are. The truth is, Bluebird, that for me, there’s no one better. You’re the only one I want.”
“God, you’re stubborn. Look at me, Reed. I’m not a whole person. I’m a shell. You can’t plan a life with me. There are days that I can barely make myself get out of bed.”
“Callie, I know it’s hard to believe, but you will heal from the hell Mitch put you through—”
“I’m not talking about just that, Reed. I don’t think I’ve ever been whole. I’ve made all kinds of bad decisions and it nearly destroyed us both.”
“Callie, just stop this,” he growls, sitting on the arm of the sofa. He looks at me and I can see the bleakness in his eyes, and I know I’m the reason.