I choked down my tears as my lawyer continued to read.
“I know you’ll take care of my kids. You always have. I see you going down the same path I’m traveling. Just with alcohol and not pills. I can’t take care of them, Ryan. I can’t give my kids the parent they need. But I know you can. You have been. I haven’t seen your face or your antics in the tabloids for weeks now. You’re capable of it. More than I am right now. And if I don’t hand over custody, they’ll eventually be displaced in the system. I know they will be. That can’t happen, Ryan. Those kids, they need each other. They need you.”
I wiped at my eyes as relief cascaded through my veins. This was happening. Valentina was handing over those beautiful children to me. And I was so thankful, because I’d grown so attached to them. I’d grown to love them in ways I didn’t think myself capable of. I didn’t want to hand them back over to my sister. Even if she had sobered up, the stress of parenting the lot of them would’ve drove her back to the same addiction and they would’ve watched her fall. Again.
Something a child should never have to see.
“I know you’re capable of being the parent I can’t be, Ryan. And if there’s one good thing I can do for my children, it’s give them a parent they deserve. That parent isn’t me, Ryan. It’s you. Please, take care of them. Love them. Cherish them. It’s all I can do for them. It’s all I’m capable of doing for them until I fix myself, and I don’t know if I’ll ever be fixed. I don’t know if I am fixable. I love them, and I love you, even though it doesn’t seem like it. Tell them I love them and that, somewhere deep down inside, they really are my world. All my love, Valentina.”
I drew in a deep breath and wiped at my eyes again. Fuck. This really was happening. My lawyer went silent on the other end of the line and I cleared my throat, trying to put on the strongest facade I could.
“Thank you for calling,” I said.
“The only thing I’ll need is your signature on these papers,” Mr. Ford said.
“That’s fine. Can it wait until after the weekend, though? I’ve got plans with the kids and I’ll want to… talk to them. You know?”
“Of course it can wait. I’ll contact you on Monday. We can set up a time for you to sign the paperwork.”
“Thanks, Mr. Ford. I’ll talk to you then.”
The phone call ended and my body suddenly felt lighter. The kids and I had been hanging in limbo for close to two months, and now we didn’t have to any longer. I set my phone back down onto the counter and walked out into the room, taking in the sight of the kids.
My kids.
Benjamin was cuddling Zoey and Hunter was lying with his feet across them body. They were curled up in all sorts of blankets, their eyes entranced by the animated movie on the screen. I leaned against the doorway and grinned, taking in the sight.
A sight I would see for many years to come if I decided to sign those papers.
But first, I had to ask them if they wanted to stay. After everything they had been through, the deserved to have input in their own lives.
“Could I talk with you guys for a second?”
They all panned their gazes to me before Benjamin paused the movie.
“Was that Miss Emma?” he asked
“No, it wasn’t. But I do want to talk with you guys about something,” I said.
“Is everything okay?” Hunter asked.
I pushed off the doorway and walked over to the coffee table. I sat down on the edge of it and looked each one of them in their eyes. I hoped they knew how much we all loved them. How much their mother loved them, deep down inside. In a place that hadn’t quite been rattled by her addiction yet.
“I have a question to ask you guys, and I want your input,” I said.
“What is it?” Zoey asked.
“I know you guys have been staying here with me for a while, not really knowing what’s coming next.”
“What do you mean?” Benjamin asked.
“Is Mommy okay?” Hunter asked.
My eyes whipped over to him and I reached out to take his hand.
“Mommy’s… not the greatest. You know she struggles a lot, right?” I asked.
“Yeah,” Benjamin said. “A lot.”