I would not get teary again. I wouldn’t. But it was so nice to have our family together again in Portland.
Meanwhile, David stared in wonder at the tiny hand wrapped around one of his much larger fingers. “He’s really ours.”
“He really is.”
“We haven’t discussed baby names. Not seriously.”
My jaw cracked on a yawn. “No. We haven’t.”
“Mal Junior is still available. Just throwing that out there,” said Mal. “No need to decide right now. Try it out for a few years. See how it feels.”
“We’ll get right on that,” said David, carefully handing the baby over to Jimmy. The baby let out a cry of displeasure. But as the father of twins, he was skilled at soothing babies back to sleep. David rose and approached the drummer. “Thank you, man. You were there for them. Helped Ev through it all. I won’t forget it.”
Mal shrugged. “Geez. Don’t make a big deal out of it, dude. You’re embarrassing me. Now that you’re here, I’m going to head home and get some sleep. Be back later, okay?”
The two men hugged with lots of back slapping. It was a beautiful thing. Then Mal came over and pressed a gentle kiss to my forehead.
“Thank you for everything, Mal,” I said.
“Anytime, Child Bride.”
“My son.” David stood beside my bed with the baby in his arms. His hands were curled around the precious bundle with the utmost of care. “This is…I still can’t get my head around it.”
“It’s big,” I agreed.
“Yet he’s so damn little.”
I gave him an unsteady smile. “Everything’s going to change now.”
David’s eyes were wide and every now and then he’d sigh. Like he was once again settling into our new reality. Then an amazed sort of smile would tug at his lips as he stared at his son in wonder. “Have you ever seen anything so tiny and perfect?”
“No. Never.”
“It’s like I want to protect him from everything forever,” said David.
“Yeah.”
The baby waved his little arms and let out a cry.
“Feeding time?” asked David.
“Probably. He just had a diaper change, so…” I got myself into a comfortable position then held out my arms. David carefully passed the baby to me. “I never gave much thought to breastfeeding, but I kind of like it. Just having quiet time to hang out and be with him, you know?”
David sat on the edge of the mattress to watch. Then he leaned in and lifted the end of the baby’s blanket. It had come loose with all of the passing back and forth. With a gentle hand, David counted his toes. “So soft and small.”
“He needs a name.”
David raised his brows. “A name? Right.”
“What’ve you got?” I smiled. “It’s not easy. I’ve been trying to think of something all night and came up with zip.”
“Ah, okay…they were actually throwing ideas around on the plane. I was listening some of the time when I wasn’t quietly freaking out and worrying about you.” He shrugged. “How about Nash? Short for Nashville and your love of all things country music.”
“Good one.” I studied the baby’s tiny face. “What do you think, my sweet boy? Are you a Nash?”
David furrowed his brow. “My son, Nash. Hmm. I’m not sure.”
“I kind of like Reed.”
“Reed? What do you think, buddy?”
Our baby drank on, staring up at me with big eyes.
“I think he only cares about milk,” I said. “How about John? For Johnny Cash.”
“Cool idea. You don’t think it sounds a little old?”
“I honestly don’t know. My brain is a murky mess.” I thought it over. “It’s not like we need to rush into naming him or anything. We can get to know him a little better. See what his personality is like and maybe get a feel for the right name. I don’t think he’ll mind being called baby for a couple of days.”
David’s wide smile was a sight to see. “Sounds like a plan. We’re doing great as parents. No need to worry about anything, okay?”
Chapter Two
We only had to stay in the hospital for two nights. I was relieved to get home and start putting things in context. Normalizing the situation. There was a lot of talk from medical professionals about how fortunate we were that despite no neonatal care, the baby was healthy and the birth had gone relatively smoothly.
I also had a long discussion with a therapist. Which might need to happen again, depending on how I handled the trauma of the birth long-term. How I actually felt about all of it remained a mystery. But at least I’d stopped bursting into tears every hour or so.
Everyone visited to say hi to the new arrival. The hospital suite quickly filled up with flowers. And while I’d done my best to stay off social media and stay away from the crazy, I couldn’t help but hear about some of the things being said. And many of them were unkind and unnecessary.