And for some strange, indescribable reason, that broke a piece of my heart.
I actually lifted my hand and rubbed the center of my chest, this ache settling right there. I was insane. I had to be to feel this kind of intense emotion over a man I’d just met. But on the heels of that thought, I couldn’t help but wonder if maybe there was something more to this. Maybe this wasn’t just some crazy feeling I felt for an attractive bear shifter?
Maybe, just maybe, we were more to each other?
A mate?
Living in a world full of shifters made a human very aware of the technicalities of what being mated to a shifter actually meant. Being tied inexplicably to a shifter meant undeniable, irrefutable, proof that you were meant for that one person. That your soulmate was out there, that other piece of you that you never knew was missing until it stood right in front of you.
And that’s how I felt.
Surely that had to be my case, that maybe I was tied to someone, and that’s the reason why I’d never felt desire, never been with a man, hell, never even been kissed.
Here I was, a grown-ass woman and I’d never known a man’s touch. I’d never even felt pleasure, not unless it was at my own hands, those awkward little touches I gave myself as I thought about a faceless man who I just knew in my heart was meant for me alone.
And maybe it was because of all that that I’d never gone the romance route in my writing? Maybe it was because I didn’t know how that even felt since I’d never experienced it, and as much as I wanted to write about people falling in love, I just couldn’t.
But since seeing Asher just earlier today, romance was all I’d been able to think about. The way his dark blond hair had been cut close to his head, how my fingers had itched to find out how soft the strands were. Right down to the fact his eyes were so blue, the shade almost unreal.
And then there was his body, big and strong, so muscular that I didn’t think I would ever feel any more feminine than standing before him.
I thought about his bear, what he looked like when he shifted, how he’d be so powerful and dangerous, how I’d want to be right in the mix of all that feral intensity. I got shivers thinking about it, goosebumps moving along my arms and legs.
And as awkward and isolated as I was, as introverted as I was, the truth was, I felt myself wanting to be bold and brazen where he was concerned. I wanted to explore these unusual feelings that had grown inside of me. I wanted to see if he felt them too.
I pushed myself up and sat on the edge of the mattress, my knees bent up to my chest, my focus on the wall in front of me. He said he’d get in contact with me, and maybe that was best, letting him take control even though all he thought this was or had to do with was the renovation.
But to me it was something much more, and I had to explore it. There was absolutely no way I could ignore these feelings, not when they were so strong.
I almost felt as though my life depended on it.
5
Asher
I could feel Cason staring at me, but I refused to look in his direction. My mind was confused, my body conflicted. My human and bear were at war with each other, and although deep down I knew what was right, what I desperately wanted, I was coming to terms with the fact I finally had a mate.
“Dude, why are you fighting it?”
I didn’t pretend to act like a shifter couldn’t scent internal conflict, couldn’t smell the fact I’d found my mate. Pheromones were emitted, animals rose up powerfully.
The claiming was undeniable to everyone around.
The sound of the fire cracking couldn’t drown out my emotions, it seemed. I looked over at Cason, my brother who was also not mated, his focus trained right on me.
“You’re fighting it so fucking hard you’re saturating the air with it.”
I let out a low, frustrated grunt and leaned back against the leather armchair, my legs kicked out in front of me, the fire keeping
me transfixed, lost in my thoughts.
“It’s more complicated than that,” I finally said and heard Cason snort.
“It’s really fucking not.”
I looked at my brother again and narrowed my eyes. “Coming from a shifter who’s not mated.”
He shook his head slowly. “I may not be mated yet, but fuck, dude, when I do find my female I’m not gonna run from her like a damn coward.”