“My happy place is the open road. Me and my motorcycle, leaving the rest of the world behind.”
“That sounds good to me. Can I borrow your happy place?”
“All right then. Picture that you’re riding on my motorcycle with me. Your arms are tight around me. The wind blowing through your hair. It’s a bright and sunny day. Not a cloud for miles. Just you, me, and the open road. The fresh air burns through your lungs. The vibration of the ride hums through your veins.”
I stare up at him as he continues to vividly paint my escape. His words becoming lost on me. I only see him and hear the steady rhythm of his heart pulsing between us replacing the sound of his motorcycle. The warmth of his body pressing into mine replacing the sunshine. The safety of those strong arms shielding me from every bad thing that’s ever happened to me. We exist in a world that only we know. There’s only us, and no one can hurt me now.
As long as I have James, I don’t need anyone else.
“Better?” he glances down at me once he’s realized I’m no longer crying.
“A little.”
“You should think about talking to someone and getting looked over by a doctor.”
“No.” I jerk away from him. “You promised. No one will know.”
“You on birth control?”
I shake my head and the tears return. I know where this conversation is going. “My father won’t allow it. Says I’ll just go around spreading my legs. He doesn’t even believe in tampons.” I shrug.
“I can get you a morning after pill, but I don’t know how effective it’d be.”
I gulp and cradle my stomach. “Do you think I’m pregnant?”
“Can’t say for sure, but you should be concerned about it.”
“What am I gonna do?”
“I can’t tell you what to do, but I’ll do what I can to help you. What about your mother?”
“She goes along with whatever my father wants. In their eye’s abortion is a sin. If I told them they’d say I’ve gotten what girls like me get. I can’t go back there.”
“Gotta be smart. They’ll call you a runaway, and if they think I’m involved—Fuck.”
“I could get a job and pay rent. I can take care of myself.”
“You gotta go home.”
“Didn’t you hear anything I said.” I shove his chest and he wraps those big arms around me. The scent of his cologne hits me, and my insides go all gooey like the center of a fresh baked cookie.
“I heard every damn word. Now hear me. You don’t know if you’re pregnant, but there’s other shit you gotta think about. Like STDs. Did they use protection?”
“I don’t...I don’t know. I think so. I remember seeing a wrapper on the floor.”
“That’s good, but darlin’, you gotta get checked out. I’ll drive you myself if you promise me, you’ll go back to your folks for a little while. They need to know you’re okay.”
Chill bumps fan up and down my arms. I know he’s right. Oh God. What if I’m pregnant and diseased? My life is over. I’m ruined.
“Get out of that dark headspace.”
“My life is over.”
“No. It’s not.”
“You don’t know that. You know how it is around here. Once everyone knows...it’s all anyone will think about when they look at me.”
“People will believe what you want them to believe.”