Kynslee turned on the bench. “Miles, look at me.”
I did as she said. “You are not your father. The sins of the father do not automatically fall to the son. You were young and scared, I understand that. I would have understood it then if you had told me. But we can’t go back and change the past. All I’ve ever wanted to know was why you walked away from me that morning. I felt like I wasn’t good enough for you. You made me feel that way.”
I closed my eyes. I could feel the tears building. Opening them, I said, “I’m so sorry, Kyns. I never wanted to hurt you. I didn’t know what else to do. I ended that call and listened to Jack asking you out. You turned him down, and I was so fucking happy, then I freaked out. I got so fucking scared because these emotions had me so overwhelmed. I didn’t know how to process them, so I did the only thing I knew to do. I pushed you away because I felt that was the only way to keep you safe.”
I wiped at a stupid tear that slipped free.
“When my time in the military was up, I figured, hell, we were thirty now. We’d just fulfill our promise to each other. I had no idea how to you win you back. I’ve never been in a relationship, rarely even dated. How did I pick up where I left off that morning when I clearly put you into the friend zone? I was scared you would tell me you didn’t want a future with me once you found out what I was doing, so I figured I’d use the promise we’d made to convince you. It was stupid, I know that. But it was the only thing I could think of to do.”
Kynslee sat quiet for a few minutes as we both glanced around the park. The laughing kids made me smile, but also gave me a dull ache in my chest. Something else was missing in my life, and I knew what it was.
“I honestly don’t know if I should be angry with you or wrap you up in my arms and tell you I love you, even though you’re a stupid asshole.”
“I’d be totally good with option two, if my opinion counts for anything.”
She looked at me, a small smile playing on her lips.
“Tell me why you left the restaurant just now?” I asked her.
Her eyes drifted away, and for a moment she seemed so lost. Like she was in another time.
“Do you remember Nancy, June’s best friend?”
“Yeah.”
“She walked into the café. Her two kids were with her, and I had this overwhelming sense of grief. I was so happy about last night, and the thought of us finally being together. Then I freaked out because your note said we had to talk, and I was worried you were going to tell me you needed me to marry you because you had some large amount of money coming and the only way you could get it was if you were married, or something like that. Can you tell I create scenarios in my own head that are usually much grander and more involved than reality?”
I laughed.
She sighed. “Then I had that weird jealous rage with Erin, and I was mad at myself for that. Then our folks were acting like nothing in the world was off this morning. Nancy walking in with her kids was the last straw. I thought about June. How she never got the chance to fall in love and have a family. She never got to live the life she deserved, and here I was being jealous toward these women who have a life I have always longed for. A life that I still have a shot at having.”
Kynslee wiped away a tear.
“I’m sorry I went about this all wrong,” I said. “I promise to work on my communication skills.”
Kynslee pulled in a shaking breath and blew it out in one rush. Then she giggled. “Miles, I think we need to see where this takes us. Yes, I love you more than I ever thought possible, but I’m still a bit uneasy. We’re going in the right direction, though.”
I nodded. “Does the right direction involve lots of sex daily?”
She rolled her eyes. “Dating, taking it slow. Getting to know each other again. That kind of direction.”
With a scoff, I stared at her. “I know you. You’re my best friend, Kyns.”
Her brow lifted. “What’s my favorite kind of ice cream?”
“Vanilla.”
“I don’t eat ice cream.”
“Since when don’t you eat ice cream?”
“About four years ago,” she said with a laugh. “What is my favorite type of movie?”
I smiled. She thought she was going to trick me on this one. She thought I would say romance because that’s what all women like. “Sci-fi.”