Mickey wanted me to go to the doctor, after all, since we were technically married, I had been added to his insurance and it really was too great not to use, but I told him I would be fine. And twenty-four hours later, I was fine.
But then a few days later I had been so bone-achingly fatigued after I got home from a half-day of planning that I passed out and missed our date. It took Mickey showing up at my place and gently shaking me awake for me to even know I had slipped under, slumped at my vanity with my face half done up in makeup. He was worried, not mad that I had stood him up, and he gently washed my face before putting me to bed.
I tried to shove all of that to the back of my mind, but I could feel that I was getting weaker and weaker as the days passed. But it wasn’t until a wave of nausea hit me in the middle of sparring and I had to race to the bathroom to puke that a realization hit me.
It’d been a while since I had my period, hadn’t it?
No.
No, no, no, no.
I was careful! I was responsible! I had my pills and I took them religiously. I hadn’t missed a single dose since…
Since the wedding.
But it was just one pill! There was no way I was pregnant from missing a single, solitary pill!
Hands shaking, I made my way back to my purse once it felt like I wasn’t about to die, and I pulled out the new insurance card that had come in the mail. I had to go through several prompts and was transferred once, but eventually I ended up talking to the medical receptionist for my new primary care physician.
“Unfortunately, he doesn’t have an opening for several weeks,” the woman said, sounding genuinely dismayed.
“Are you sure? It’s an emergency.”
“What kind of emergency, ma’am?”
“I… I think I could be pregnant, but I’m on birth control. And if I am pregnant, I’ve been taking my birth control this entire time.”
“Oh, goodness. You know what? Let me talk to the doctor and see if maybe we can squeeze in an appointment this afternoon. This isn’t something you want to wait on.”
“You’re telling me,” I breathed.
“Alright, I’m going to put you on hold now, if you don’t mind. I’ll be right back.”
“Yeah, yeah of course. Whatever you need to do. Thank you for helping me.”
“Hey, we’re here for you. Give me about five minutes.” The line clicked over to gentle, assuring music, and I only felt like I was having a mild panic attack as I waited. All sort of thoughts went through my head, building on top of each other, until finally she returned.
“Hi, ma’am, are you still there?”
“Yeah, I am.”
“Perfect. How soon can you get here?”
I swallowed hard. “Uh, with traffic, maybe an hour?” It was nearing the afternoon rush so I knew that it certainly wouldn’t be quick.
“That’s perfect. Please do that and we’ll be right here, waiting for you.”
“Really? Just like that?”
“Yes dear, just like that. Your husband is one of our doctor’s favorite patients and has been with us for years. The least we can do is make sure his loved ones are well provided for.”
“Well thanks. I’ll be there soon.”
Huh, it seemed even when he wasn’t directly doing it, Mickey was still watching out for me like no one else had since Aunt Trisha -who was actually coming down to visit in a week or so. After Mickey and I had started dating, he and I had both reached out to her to check in, and the next thing I knew, he paid for her plane ticket to come visit.
Dear Lord, she would kill me if I ended up being pregnant.
But I couldn’t be. I just couldn’t. Pregnant women didn’t get to spar or do stunts. And while my company didn’t entirely need me to do those things when I could work on choreo and administrative stuff, I needed to do those things. They were a part of my life that I loved.
I rushed out to my car and plugged in the address to my GPS, rushing there as best as I could considering the insane traffic. My leg bounced the entire time, my stomach twisting right up until I pulled into the parking lot.
To their credit, the receptionist was just as lovely in person and they got me into a room and peeing into a cup in no time.
I was good when I had something to do, but the time where I had to wait for the doctor to come in with my results was excruciating. My adrenaline pumped, my mind raced, and my goddamn leg would not stop moving.
Finally, the doctor came in. She was tall and slender, with a sort of severe look on her face. For some reason I had expected a man, and I flushed at that assumption.