I turn my attention to the menu and our waiter comes for our drink order.
We both order water.
Thea looks at her menu like it’s the most interesting thing she’s ever encountered.
I decide what I want to order and set mine aside.
Thea decides too and lays her menu down. Our waiter comes with our waters and a basket of bread. He takes our orders before leaving again.
Thea sighs, crossing her fingers together.
I lean closer to her. “What’s on your mind, sweetheart?”
She bites her lip. “You’re going to laugh.”
“I won’t laugh,” I vow.
“You’re going to say, I told you so, then.” She frowns, tilting her head.
I shake my head, totally confused now. “You’ve lost me.”
She sighs heavily. “I don’t want to go back to work.”
She’s been on maternity leave sine a few weeks before she had Xael, and she still has time left, obviously.
“Okay,” I say slowly.
She rolls her eyes. “I don’t want to go back to work,” she repeats. “I want to quit and stay home with Xael. I know I was so anti-stay-at-home mom at first, but that was before I had her and realized … this is what I’m meant to do with my life. Being a mom is everything I was ever made to do.” She starts to tear up and my jaw drops in surprise.
“Thea,” I breathe. “Whatever you want, you know I’m on board.”
“This is what I want,” she promises. “More than anything.”
I feel proud, that her mind changed and she was adult enough to own it. Sometimes we think one way and then learn that it’s not the best. It’s okay to change your mind.
“You know I’m on board with whatever you want.”
She smiles, pleased with my answer.
I’m definitely relieved that we don’t have to look for a nanny or put Xael into daycare. Not that there aren’t plenty of good nannies and daycares, but it’s hard to think about leaving your child with a stranger.
Thea’s shoulders sag with relief at having told me. The silly girl shouldn’t have been nervous. Why would I be mad that she wants to stay home and raise our child? It’s what I wanted from the beginning. I never said anything because I didn’t want her to feel like it was forced onto her.
And if a year or so down the road she decided that she did want to go back to work, I’d support that too, because when you love someone you stand beside them and hold them up, you don’t fight them.
Marriage is all about compromise, in my opinion.
Sometimes you’re both going to be on the same page, and sometimes not, but you have to be willing to open up and see the other person’s side.
I reach across the table and take her hand, entwining our fingers together.
“I love you.” I love that girl more than I ever thought it was possible to love someone else. I think back to how I knew her when we were both only children, and how far we’ve come. We’ve been through so much, but we’re both stronger, better, people for it.
“I love you too,” she sighs happily.
Our food is brought out and we both dig in. I got a steak while she opted for a salmon salad.
Our meals have mostly consisted of things we can eat quickly while holding a baby, so most hasn’t been of the healthiest variety. So it’s nice to eat real food for a change.