“I’m ready. You can move.”
He swallows thickly. “Tell me if it hurts and I’ll stop.”
I nod, biting my lip as he eases out a bit and then back in. It feels so good being connected to him like this. I never want it to end.
Sweat dampens our skin, making us stick together. I watch the muscles in his stomach clench as he thrusts in and out of me.
His breathing accelerates and I know he’s close. I am too, although, my mom always told me to never expect any pleasure my first time. She lies though. It’s the only thing she’s good at…well, she’s good at getting drunk too.
“Row,” he gasps, his thumb pressing against the throbbing nub. He rubs it in circles and my muscles tighten.
“Trent. Trent. Trent.” I say his name over and over again. When I come apart, his mouth silences my cries. A moment later, he twitches inside me and I know it’s over.
I’m not a virgin anymore.
He presses kisses to my neck before falling to the side. He wraps his damp body around mine and I close my eyes, smiling. It feels so good to be held like this. He brushes my long hair away from my neck. “I love you,” he breathes, pressing tender kisses to the skin behind my ear.
Those three words drench my body in ice cold water. It’s a shock to my system and there’s only one thing I know to do.
Run.
I sit up, grabbing at anything that might be my clothes.
“Row?” He questions and I refuse to look at him. I can’t see his eyes right now. I won’t be able to leave if I look at him. “Row? What did I do?” He presses a hand against my bare skin. “You don’t have to say it back, but I thought you should know.”
I don’t say anything as I put my clothes back on.
“Row, where are you going?” He asks when I begin to unzip the tent.
I pause. “I can’t stay the night here. The teachers will find me and we’ll get in trouble. I’ll see you in the morning.”
But we both know it’s a lie. From this moment on, I vow to do whatever it takes to erase myself from his life.
I sat up in bed, clutching at my chest as I struggled for air. My skin was damp with sweat and my hair stuck to my forehead. The dream—memory, I corrected myself—always did this to me. I wondered if there would ever be a time it didn’t affect me.
I pushed the covers off and drew my knees to my chest.
Why couldn’t I escape him?
Even when he was nowhere around, he still managed to weasel his way into my subconscious. Damn Wentworth.
I started to count—it was the only thing that seemed to calm me.
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
The back of my neck was sticky with sweat, like the rest of my body, and I lifted my hair up to cool myself.
I looked over at the clock and groaned. It was only five in the morning, but I was the kind of person that once I was awakened I couldn’t go back to sleep. I flicked the light on, blinking rapidly at the sudden brightness.
“Ugh,” I groaned, rubbing my temples. I felt a headache coming on and that was the last thing I needed.
I had a prescription for my headaches, so I pulled the bottle out of my bedside drawer, popping one of the pills onto my tongue. With the stale water I’d brought to bed with me I swallowed it down.
I placed my head in my hands, letting my long hair fall around me.
I was a mess. There was no other word to describe me.
I wanted to cry, but no tears came. It hurt too much to think about Trent. Everything had been perfect until he said those three words and ruined it all. Why couldn’t he keep his big mouth shut?