My instinct was to deny it, but that would have been childish. Of course, I was jealous. The anger at another man hitting on her. Telling her I didn’t want to share. They were classic signs of jealousy. It was a sign that I should simply end the benefits portion of our relationship. Yeah, like that would happen.
“If you’re ready to move on and be with someone else, I’ll accept that,” I said.
Her confident demeanor fell slightly and she looked down. “If that’s what you want—”
“That’s not what I said, Petal. Look, I know we didn’t make any promises, but I prefer to be exclusive while we’re together. I’m not trying to be an asshole here. I just don’t want to be part of a group.”
Her anger flared up again. “You think I’d do that?”
I shook my head. “You’d have every right to look at your options. You want something I can’t give, so of course you’ll be open to other men.”
“I’m not seeing other men, Cyrus. Have I talked to some? Sure. But I’m not test driving.” She moved toward me, probably to unlock the front door and kick me out. “I don’t know what you want, Cy. You tell me to make you leave. You tell me you can’t stop thinking of me.”
“I can’t.”
“Sometimes you call me while you’re gone and sometimes you ignore me when you’re home. I can’t seem to win here.”
I was an asshole. I really needed to let her go because I was only hurting her. But looking into her green eyes, I couldn’t formulate the words.
She looked up at me. “You want to ask me to tell you to leave again. You want me to be the one to end this.”
I nodded.
“Well I’m not, Cy. If you want out, you have to tell me.”
Unable to stop myself, I caressed her cheek. “I keep hurting you, Petal. I don’t want that.”
“I haven’t asked you for anything, Cy. I know where things stand.”
Longing welled in my chest. Not just a sexual need, but something more that was both sweet and terrifying. I leaned down and gently pressed my lips to hers. In rush, what started as soft, morphed into a desperate need.
I moaned and banded her to me as all the frustration and pent up desire clashed and forced its way out. She returned the kiss with equal fervor. I lifted her, and walked her through the side door and up the stairs to her apartment.
Our lips were fused, as I set her down and she pulled her keys from her pocket and opened the door. My hands were on her everywhere as I undressed her and moved her to her bed.
Finally, we were naked and I was over her body, pressing her soft curves into the mattress. A moment of calm washed through me as I looked down one her. Her green eyes stared up at me with trust and surrender. It made my heart roll in my chest. She really was bewitching me.
At the same time, there was a sense that this was going to come to an end soon. It had to really. I couldn’t string her along like this. Not when she was wanting more from life. So, I’d savor this moment.
I ran my fingers through her soft red strands and kissed her, firm yet slow. I trailed my lips over her jaw and down her neck.
“Cy.” Her fingers gently caressed my back as she gave into my seduction.
I maneuvered down her body to worship her tits. I held the soft globes in my hands, kneading them, watching as her nipples hardened. I sucked one into my mouth, laving it with my tongue as I gently pinched the other. Her hips bucked up, seeking my dick, but I stayed there, loving her tits until she was moaning and writhing under the weight of my body.
I moved up and kissed her again, taking her hands in mine and levering them over her head. “Petal.”
Her eyelids fluttered open. With her lovely green eyes watching me, I pressed inside her. Our groans filled the room. I pushed and pushed, until finally, I was fully inside her. Fully home.
22
Petal
Cyrus had always been an enigma to me. Today he was epitome of that. He’d stormed into the shop already angry about something. Seeing Paul had made it worse. Realizing he was jealous had made me feel good. It suggested an attachment on his part. And yet, it was clear he didn’t want that. He wanted me to make him leave. Maybe I should have. He admitted he was jealous but still didn’t want to be more than friends with benefits. If I wasn’t sure before that this was going to end with me being hurt, I knew it now. But instead of heeding his and my own advice to return back to just friends, I was in bed with him, his body seeped inside of mine. Just like he couldn’t seem to bring himself to leave, I couldn’t make him go.
At first, there was a wild and crazy desperation as we undressed and made our way to the bed. But then, in an instant, everything slowed. The intensity was still there, just not the crazed fervor as he kissed me slow. He sucked and caressed by breasts until I was nearly coming just from that. And now he was inside me, holding himself as he looked down on me with those dark eyes. There was something going inside his head. For a moment, I wished it was the realization that we could have something real
because it was clear as day that I loved this man.