A pack of wild horses are all stampeding through my chest. That’s normal, right? I’m not dying?
Cooper gently closes the window, and now we’re trapped in here together. I’m not wearing enough clothes. My t-shirt and sleep shorts are too flimsy; I can feel the breeze blowing through them. And Cooper is walking toward my bed. Oh gosh, he’s walking toward my bed!
I force myself to swallow that lump in my throat as I watch his masculine silhouette approach. I scoot to the far side of the bed, but it’s only a puny little queen-sized mattress, so when Cooper and his big body sit down on the side, I roll toward him like a marble.
“What are you doing here?” I whisper, pressing my back up against the headboard.
I can hear the smile in his voice when he says, “You wouldn’t spend any time with me tonight in front of Drew. I wanted to talk to you more.”
“So you’re just here to talk?”
“Mmhmm,” he says, leaning forward and pressing a soft, slow kiss to my lips.
This isn’t talking.
Cooper grabs my ankles and tugs me down so my head slides from my headboard to my pillow. He then climbs on the bed and hovers over me, elbows on either side of my face. Even in the dark, I can see his beautiful smile.
“You should see how wide your eyes are right now,” he says, a chuckle in his voice. He leans on one elbow so he can run his thumb across my cheekbone. “I don’t know how you open them that wide. You’re like an owl.”
I’m basically a wooden board. My arms are superglued to my sides, and my back is so rigid. I don’t move. I don’t breathe. I’m afraid if I do, Cooper will vanish into thin air, and I’ll realize this was all a glorious dream.
“Cooper…”
“Lucy…”
He dips his head down and kisses right below my earlobe. My shoulders melt, and I sigh. His lips are warm, and his body is heavy, and I feel so safe. There’s nowhere—not a single place—I’d rather be than here with this man.
Tentatively, I move my hands up his arms and over his shoulder muscles. I feel every dent and ridge and can’t believe I get to be touching him. Cooper’s arm slides under my back to curl me up close to him as his kisses move up my jaw to my mouth. He hovers there, his lips brushing tender warm sparks across mine. His restraint is unearthly, a paradox. The tight hold of his arm coiling around me is the direct polar opposite of the light touch of his mouth.
I breathe deep, smelling Cooper and letting his scent wrap around me. It’s his freshly showered, manly smell—the one where he should be sponsored and starring in a com
mercial, standing in a towel, chest glistening with moisture in a locker room, holding up a green body wash bottle and getting paid a million dollars to do it.
“Are you smelling me again?” he asks, lips tickling mine as he speaks.
“Busted.”
He takes his lips away from mine to bury his head in my neck, and I hear him breathe in audibly. “Mmmm. I finally figured it out,” he says as he lays a warm kiss on my collarbone.
“Figured what out?”
“What you smell like.” He pauses and breathes in one more time. “Froot Loops.” I strangle a laugh in my throat and can feel my smile touching both of my ears. “It’s Froot Loops, isn’t it? All this time I thought it was a perfume, but you just eat a lot of cereal, don’t you?”
“I had a bowl about ten minutes ago.” I’m using all of my strength to hold in my laugh so I don’t wake the whole house.
“Mmhmm, thought so.” He sounds like he’s smiling too.
He leans down and kisses me again, but this time, it’s not quite as gentle. It’s just a little more. He pulls away and pauses, staring down at me. So I lift up off my pillow and kiss him—a little bit more. It’s a tantalizing back-and-forth game of one-upping the other opponent…until it’s not a game anymore, and Cooper’s mouth is slanted over mine, and we’re lost in this deep kiss. It’s passion like I don’t think I’ve ever experienced, and yet, it’s still just kissing. His arm is still firmly wrapped around me, and his other hand is woven deep in my hair, but he’s not exploring.
Does he know how much I appreciate this? I feel safe. I feel out of control—but also still very in control. Cooper knows my history, knows I haven’t dated anyone since Levi was born, and he’s so gentle with my heart it’s making me ache. Many men would be rushing this, pushing me forward toward an end goal that’s selfish and fleeting. Cooper is set to low and slow. To have a man who’s so sexy and powerful be nothing but tender and patient is intoxicating. I wish I could send this moment back in time to my younger self, when I was hopeless and thinking the world is made up of nothing but selfish pigs, and whisper, Just hold on, there’s a good one out there.
I run my hands up Cooper’s corded back into his hair. He makes a sound that strikes a match inside me, and now I don’t think we’ll be doing much talking tonight. Our kisses turn hungry, and I think the world outside could be burning down and I wouldn’t notice. I am tuned in to nothing but Cooper and his touch and his lips and his breath. His hand moves an inch toward my stomach, and my abdomen clenches. A thought hits me like a cannonball, and I peel my lips away from Cooper’s.
Sensing my sudden distress, he stops and pulls back. “What’s wrong? Moving too fast?”
“I’m a mom, Cooper.”
He’s silent for a second, needing to process this abrupt change in…everything, then he lets out a short breathy laugh. “Yes, Lucy, I know this.” His big hand comes up to cradle my face. “I’m perfectly aware of your motherliness.”