“Oh okay. Well…” This is awkward. I don’t know how to act around him now. “Be safe driving home.”
“I will.” He never breaks eye contact and doesn’t appear to be making any moves to leave.
I think we are going to sit here all night, staring at each other and building this tension between us until Levi speaks up.
“Mom, can we read Red Truck tonight?” He’s already all the way across the room, grabbing the book and racing back to me.
“Yeah, let’s read it!” I stand up and move to the rocking chair where I pull Levi into my lap. I take a deep inhalation of his freshly washed hair; I love the way clean children smell like hopes and dreams. Once he’s settled, I look up and realize Cooper is still standing in that same place, arms folded, soft smile tilting the side of his mouth. “I thought you were leaving,” I say softly, suddenly nervous to have an audience for my nightly routine with my son.
“I am.” He nods toward me. “Go ahead.”
I try to tune Cooper out as I read to Levi, but it’s impossible. His presence is as unobtrusive as a bonfire in an enclosed room. I’m aware of his every move, breath, gaze. But something odd happens the longer I read: I settle in and feel comfortable. Levi and I laugh and tease and tickle, and somehow, Cooper being here feels normal.
I think maybe Levi forgot Cooper is still watching until I tuck him in and he says, “Can Coop come say goodnight?”
I chuckle. “Did you just call him Coop?”
Levi nods, and Cooper is already rounding the bed. “Yeah, of course he did. All my best friends call me Coop.” He leans over the bed and brushes some of Levi’s hair out of his face before tucking in the covers all around him like a burrito. How did he know Levi likes that?
“Then why do I call you Cooper?” I ask with a hand on my hip.
He tilts his head to look at me with a sideways grin. “'Cause I’ve never thought of you as just my friend.”
Mmmm, good answer.
Cooper finishes tucking Levi in and telling him goodnight. I give my son one more kiss then turn out the lights. I step out into the hallway, shutting the door to Levi’s room behind me and coming face to chest with Cooper. His eyes are kindling as he stares down at me, and I hate that my first reaction is looking side to side to make sure Drew isn’t around. This isn’t wrong, and I shouldn’t have to hide. I know this; I just don’t know how to go about fixing it.
“Lucy, you are…” He breathes out like he can’t find the words. “I loved watching you put him to bed.” He picks up my hand and presses it to his chest. “Do you feel that? My heart is going mushy. You’re turning me into a sap, and I don’t know what to do about it. It’s weird.”
“I felt the same way when I first held Levi.” I shake my head at the memory. “I was fully prepared to hate him and resent him for ruining my life. But imagine my surprise when, suddenly, my life felt full and wonderful with him in my arms. Kids have this way of making you want to rip your hair out one minute then snuggle them up and never let them go the next.”
Cooper’s smile is soft and nostalgic, thoughtful in a way I haven’t seen from him yet. He pushes some hair from my face. “Do you think you’ll want to have more kids?”
My eyebrows rise, and my heart skips. I can now feel the blood whooshing through my veins. “Umm…yeah. I guess I do. But not alone again. Ideally, I’ll be married next time—to a man who will get me Cheetos when I’m craving them at midnight and help with diaper duty.”
He grins. “You just want a Cheeto runner?”
“Mmhmm.” My eyes drop to Cooper’s mouth, and one side curls up slightly. He lightly brushes his fingers against mine before he leans down and whispers, “I better go before Drew gets out.” His warm lips press into my cheek for only a fraction of a second before he pulls away. “Leave your window open tonight.”
“What? Why?” I ask Cooper’s fantastic retreating back. He looks too good in navy t-shirts.
He shrugs those big shoulders. “Going to be a nice night.”
I’m lying in bed with my window open, feeling like a kid waiting to see if Santa shows up. But that’s ridiculous, right? Cooper is not going to come through my window. That would be insane. I don’t even have a tree or a lattice or anything for him to climb up. So, unless he’s Peter Pan and can fly me off to Neverland, I don’t think he’s going to show up tonight. Maybe he really did just want me to enjoy the nice weather.
Or—
Wait…was that a sound? That was definitely a sound.
I shoot up in bed and clutch my covers against my chest. It’s dark in my room, the only light coming from the moon, and suddenly, I’m terrified. The boogie monster definitely exists, and he’s about to climb through my window.
AH! There’s a shadow looming now, and if I pee this bed, I will never forgive myself. “Cooper?” I whisper angrily. “That better be you! I swear if it’s not and whoever is coming into my room right now is an ax murderer who kills me in this bed, I’m going to come back and haunt you in terrifying ways until the day you die!”
Cooper’s familiar low-rolling chuckle washes over my skin and goosebumps surface. There’s something about hearing that chuckle in the dead of night with limited visibility that makes my body go tingly. “You got lucky this time. The ax was too heavy to carry up the ladder, so I left it in the truck.” Cooper puts a long leg over the windowsill and ducks his head through. Now he’s in my room, and I can’t catch my breath.
“You brought a ladder?!” I guess it’s a good thing my room is on the back of the house where no one will see it.
“A freaking tall one. Not gonna lie, scared me a little climbing up it.”