She looks confused. “And that’s a bad thing?”
“He spent ten years in a job he loathed, doing everything he could to make his father’s dream live on. He finally gets to live his own life, Allie. How can I look him in the eye and tell him I’m stealing it all away? I told him I was on birth control. I thought I was, but I seriously can’t remember my last shot.”
She stares at me, but my sobs increase, and I can’t speak anymore. He might have had sex with me without wearing a condom, but he trusted me to be responsible. How could I do something so stupid?
Allie soothes me and promises everything will be okay, over and over and over again. But when I finally fall into a tear-induced sleep, all I can think about is the haunting dark eyes that will be devastated to once again find out his future is planned out for him without any regard for what he wants.
Chapter 56
BELLA
“This is yours,” I say, thrusting the cat at Maverick as soon as he opens the door.
The cat makes some battle cry, and leaps over his shoulder, racing through the monstrosity he calls a house.
“What the hell?” he asks, shocked.
“I can’t keep her anymore,” I explain, handing him bags full of all her things. “Health reasons.”
His look immediately changes to one of concern. “What the fuck? What’s wrong?”
Sometimes, since he’s such a clown, it’s easy to forget Maverick cares.
Sighing, I run a hand through my hair. “It’s nothing life-threatening, so don’t worry. I’ll explain later, but Bananas is now your pet. Have fun. She’s fucking evil.”
His mouth opens like he’s about to say something else, but I shut the door and walk away. I’m in my car and heading toward the hospital when he races out in his boxers to try and ask more questions.
I’ve been in a daze for the past day and a half, trying my damnedest to wrap my head around everything. My phone buzzes in my hand, and I close my eyes, exhaling slowly, trying to stave off the onslaught of tears that are beating against the backs of my eyelids.
As I walk into the hospital, the phone buzzes again. I can’t… I just can’t.
My cheeks are raw from the scalding tears I’ve already shed, and Ethan won’t stop calling. This time, he sends a text when I don’t answer, and my heart hurts when I see his name instead of “Asshole.”
ETHAN: Hey, I realize you’re pissed. I keep fucking up, but I’m sorry for whatever I did. Come over so I can grovel properly. I have a list of things I can do to get back on your good side. ;)
Guilt blankets me, and it gets difficult to swallow. He has no idea why I’m avoiding him, and how can I tell him? I know I have to. It’d be wrong not to. But I’m a coward, and I plan to put it off for as long as my conscience allows.
“Berta,” I say as she passes me.
“Yeah?” she says, sounding rushed and annoyed, until she sees my face and her look softens.
“Good lord, child, you look like you’ve been crying all night. What’s wrong?”
Berta is among the few in this hospital I trust to keep a secret. Plus, she used to work in an obstetrician’s office for over ten years before coming here three years ago.
“Um… I need a favor.” Already losing some pride, considering I never ask for favors.
“Of course. Name it.”
***
Allie walks in just as Berta sets up the machine, and she comes to sit down beside me. I shouldn’t have called her, but I couldn’t do this alone.
Berta secured us the room and the machine, and she didn’t seem to mind doing it. I think she’s more concerned about the fact I’m back to bawling than anything.
“Alright, Bella, you gotta relax for me, because this is the one that goes up your vagina. If you’re skinny and your pussy is too tight for this, I might just slap you for being too perfect,” Berta says, trying her damnedest to make me smile. I force one just for her sake.
Allie squeezes my hand as I feel the pressure down there, and then I close my eyes as she inserts it all the way. Something loud and suspiciously similar to a very fast heartbeat finds my ears, and my eyes fly open as I stare at the screen.