Chapter 55
BELLA
Eight more tests stare at me, and I stare back in disbelief. Awareness slowly sinks into my bones, and nausea hits me like a wall.
My head is over the toilet, and I’m expelling whatever is left in my stomach in under a second.
“Bella?” Allie’s voice trails through the house, but I’m too busy throwing up my future to answer. “Bella, I got his car back over there, and he didn’t see me.”
I wish I could answer, but I’m still preoccupied.
“Oh shit, Bella,” she says, suddenly right beside me. I hear water running, and then a cool, damp cloth is pressed against the back of my neck.
&
nbsp; Warm tears spread across my cheeks, and I try to think of a time in my life when I messed up so badly.
“I can’t remember the last time I got my shot,” I manage to whisper, though it’s hoarse and full of disbelief.
My best friend found herself pregnant at eighteen because of a broken condom. One night was all it took to change her life forever, and I swore to always be Miss Protection after that. No risks. No chances. One thousand percent covered.
No unplanned pregnancy.
I’m a nurse. I’m a responsible freaking human being. All my bills are paid on time. My car always gets serviced. I always check the expiration dates when I grocery shop. I even remember to get my legs and various other body parts waxed on a regular basis. But I can’t remember my damn birth control shot when I’m having reckless, unprotected sex?
Stupid fucking Jacob’s ladder. It’s because of those damn piercings that I refused to force him into a condom. Pleasure overrode sanity and responsibility.
My mother was right, and I’m such an idiot.
A reckless, pregnant idiot.
That word hits me like a fist to the stomach, and more tears assault me as I hurl a little more denial about my current situation into the toilet. Allie hisses out a breath and grabs my hair, pulling it back as my life comes crashing down around me.
Standing slowly, I wipe my mouth on the back of my hand, and I stagger toward my bedroom. Allie follows me, and I drop to my bed, sobbing into my pillow. Rye loves Brin in a way I’ve only ever dreamed of being loved, and tonight, he totally freaked out when he thought she was pregnant.
Ethan freaked out when he dropped the L-word in a casual joke he didn’t mean. I can only imagine how a pregnancy would hit him. Personally, I’m too busy handling my breakdown to handle his too.
I doubt very seriously he’ll take me in his arms and promise we’ll be a happy family. There’s no doubt in my mind that he wouldn’t be here for his child, but as for the happily ever after? It’s just too soon.
The bed dips as Allie sits down beside me, and she starts running her fingers through my hair, trying her best to soothe me. The roles have reversed. I remember being her so many years ago, consoling my best friend when she found out her life had changed forever.
She was a scared eighteen-year-old who was fresh out of high school and had nowhere to go. I’m a full grown woman with a steady job and a home. I shouldn’t be such a wreck, when she was once so strong.
“While you figure out how to tell your boyfriend you are pregnant, I have to figure out a way to tell my overly enthused fiancé that I’m not pregnant,” she says, trying to lighten the intensity of my despair.
It doesn’t work.
She sighs harshly when I only cry harder.
“Bella, I know it seems hard to believe, but it really is all going to be okay. And while Ethan doesn’t seem like the fatherly type, people change. Look at Wren. He’s turned out to be the best father I ever dreamt of. Hell, look at Tag. He was a huge playboy, and now he’s juggling two kids with pride, and he’s loyal to Ash without any temptation to be otherwise.”
I turn toward her as fresh tears spill over the edges of my eyelids, and I suck in a shaky breath.
“Ethan would freak out.”
“I know, but he has to man up, Bella. He’s half to blame in this.”
“I wasn’t finished. He’d freak out, but he would man up almost immediately,” I whisper, crying harder as my words start to slur. “No one sees what I see. The tattoos and attitude make most people dismiss the notion of him being a truly honorable guy, but he is. At the end of the day, he’d do the right thing and sacrifice whatever necessary to be a part of his child’s life.”