New tears find my eyes, but this time, for an entirely different reason.
“Is that—”
“Y
es,” Berta says, but I’m still staring with wide-eyed fascination at the screen. “That’s your baby’s heartbeat, and that tiny little peanut is your baby. Sweet girl, it’s been a while since I did this, but I’d say you’re between six and eight weeks along. You sure you don’t remember your last period or shot?”
I nod absently, unable to tear my eyes away from my baby. My baby.
The surrealism crashes into reality, and every bit of despair is pushed away as an extreme sense of protectiveness swells in my chest. My hands instinctively move to my stomach, and I stare in awe as the heartbeat continues very fast, but that’s normal for a baby.
A baby. My baby. Mine and Ethan’s baby.
My tears morph, but I have no idea why I’m crying anymore. My emotions are crazy and going haywire.
The denial I felt about the baby truly existing is replaced with love for the peanut inside me. All the denial I had about my feelings for Ethan are exposed in the light, and the fact that I’m in love with him physically hurts now. Because there’s no denying he’s going to forever resent me for this. For taking away the freedom he’s been chasing for over a decade.
“Thanks, Berta,” Allie says when I can’t force myself to speak. “I’ll take it from here.”
Berta pats my leg before putting everything away. I never even felt her withdraw that damn thing from me. My focus is entirely on the fact I have a child growing inside me, and all I want to do is shield he or she from anything and everything that could ever hurt them.
“She’ll need to see a doctor soon. She needs to be taking care of herself. And get rid of that cat. She can’t have an indoor cat when she’s pregnant. The litter is bad for the baby.”
“The cat is gone,” I assure her, already on the right path to caring for my child better than I cared for myself.
I’ll never be irresponsible again, because now a new life depends on it.
But how do I tell Ethan Noles, the guy who is sick of responsibility, that he’s about to be a father?
Chapter 57
ETHAN
Bella has avoided me for a solid week. Seven, long, miserable days.
I still don’t even really know what I did. At least in the past when I screwed up, I was one-hundred percent positive where I went wrong. This time… Not a fucking clue.
She harped on communication being the key to a healthy relationship, but she’s ignored the fuck out of me for a week. Unbelievable. She’s nothing but a hypocrite, and I’m tired of jumping through hoops for no damn reason.
Part of her allure was the fact I had to chase her. Now, it’s grating on my nerves, because the chase is getting old. I wanted to finally catch her, but despite the fact she claimed she was looking for something real, she ran away the second things finally got real.
Apparently I’m cursed or something. The two girls I’ve foreseen a real future with are the two girls who don’t give a flying fuck about me. I really thought Bella was different, but now I’m not so sure.
People are all over the place in my house, but I feel as if I’m an island and no one can touch me. I’m also in one hell of a pissed off mood. Games. Fucking games. It’s my fault there were ever any games involved, because I wanted to play with Bella.
Right now, the last thing I want is a houseful of strangers, but if Bella is so determined to ignore me, then I need to prove to her she’s one of a thousand women. My mistake was telling her what she meant to me. My mistake was playing house with her. My mistake was opening the door for her to walk right in and rip everything out when she gets a bug up her ass.
Another strong sip of whiskey doesn’t really dull the ache in my chest, but it helps me chase the numbness. While physically I can still feel everything, I don’t want to feel anything inside. Alcohol works brilliantly for that.
Star Morgan is back in my house, and she’s walking toward me with wary eyes. I’m not sure why she won’t just stay the fuck away from me. She keeps coming around, never really speaking, but makes sure I see her.
“Hey,” she says, surprising me with the fact she finally has the balls to say something.
“Why the hell are you here?” I ask her, since the question has been burning in me since she first showed up.
Even though I’m too drunk to walk without staggering, I’ll never be drunk enough to touch her again. Besides, since Bella showed up, I haven’t wanted to touch anyone else. Which pisses me off all the more, since she apparently never got as close as I have.
Trying not to crush the glass of whiskey in my hand, I focus my attention on glaring at Star, waiting on her to open her mouth and answer the damn question. Girls want to talk all the fucking time until you ask them a question. Then they want to shut the hell up and pretend you don’t exist.