He didn’t speak as we left the castle and walked down the path to my favorite garden—my mother’s. Once inside, we sat down as we had that first time, only this time I didn’t take his arm or hand. I didn’t sit so close. Over these last couple of weeks, a wedge had been driven between us. This place had done it, but I was ultimately responsible for it.
I rubbed my eyes again. Time to shed the confusion. Time to do what I had to.
“Do you want me to kill you, Cahal?” I asked quietly, looking out at the garden, feasting my eyes on the flowers and the plants. I soaked in the silence for a moment, waiting for him to answer. Or maybe waiting for him to judge my mood and situation. On the island with Darius, he’d grown very good at reading me. Here, he’d gotten outstanding at it.
“Is that what it has come down to?” he finally asked.
“Yes. A mercy killing. Do you want a mercy killing?”
No one would disturb us out here. It was the one place my attendants let me cry in peace, mostly because I threw enormous tantrums afterward and tried to kill them. I’d thrown the fits for fun but also for insurance purposes. Now it would finally pay off.
“Sometimes, yes, I do. I’m the best at what I do. I’m god-touched, which should be something to envy, but I think that’s why I’m so incredibly alone. It makes me different from my kind. I believe it has also made me incapable of finding my true mate. That, or she just isn’t out there.”
“Maybe it’s a he?”
“I’ve left that possibility open. Same result. Those of my kind who don’t find their true mate typically die in the line of duty. I don’t know that I ever will. Sometimes the solitude is unbearable.”
“Christ, I didn’t realize I’d get a truth bomb.”
“You asked.”
“Yeah, but…not really, know what I’m saying? I’m not going to mercy-kill you, Cahal.”
“Then why did you bring me here?”
“I have no fucking idea. This place has always been a mind-fuck. I feel like I’m slipping in and out of sanity.”
“No, you don’t. You’re happy here.”
“Under the circumstances, I’m happy, yes. Under the circumstances.”
“He didn’t read you very well. You are very like him. He should’ve known you are not a person who could ever get used to a cage. Darius has always understood that.”
A pang hit my heart so fiercely that my vision flickered and I swayed, my longing for Darius nearly dragging me under. Cahal’s arm was around me immediately, holding me up.
“Sorry,” he murmured.
“Yeah, keep that stuff to yourself. I can’t let Darius distract me right now. Time has run out. It’s time to leave. We need to put the dangerous part of our plan into effect. I think Lucifer has found them. He’s leaving for a few days. He said something about a public display. Obviously that means he’ll kill them gruesomely. He asked about Darius for the first time tonight. He knows I’m headed for heartache, and while I do think he cares that I’d be in pain, he’s still going to go kill my boyfriend, I have zero doubt. Zero doubt. If not now, then when he eventually finds him. I would think I’d fucked up at dinner, maybe revealed my hand, except he was all over the place too. I don’t think he caught my attempts at information grabbing. We were both off our game, but I’ve still got him hook, line, and sinker. He won’t realize his slip-up until I’m long gone.”
Because I was leaving. I’d been planning to leave all along; I’d just had to disguise my intention so he didn’t clue in. I had been playing him from day one. From the moment I knew Penny had gotten through. I’d known he’d be on top of things. That he’d shut this place down and find them before they found me. When he did, he would make sure they didn’t jeopardize his plans. All the while, he’d be trying to manipulate me into wanting to remain here. He’d trapped my body in the hopes of trapping my mind. It wasn’t a new strategy—kidnappers had been doing it for ages.
I’d started talking to Cahal in whispered tones the very next morning, after my freak-out the night before, careful not to let the watchers overhear. We’d worked out a plan, one we’d never overtly mentioned to each other since, until now. We’d mostly never broken character. There were too many invisible watchers around the castle, and I didn’t trust any of them.
My ultimate goal was to get enough wiggle room to slip out. That would require Lucifer to trust me, and that meant I had to let him believe this place was winning me over. I already had a playbook from the last heir, complete with a villain who would play on his fears—Cahal. I had all the pieces. I just needed to sell it.