‘I’m not going to,’ Jemma said thickly. ‘How can I, Tri?’ she demanded at Trina’s expression. ‘After going through all of this with Josh and Cassie, he’ll think I’ve done it to him deliberately!’
‘But this is nothing like the situation which developed between those two fools!’
‘Isn’t it?’ It looked exactly the same to Jemma.
‘I just knew he was too much for you to have your first love-affair with—and I was proved right, wasn’t I?’ Trina said angrily. ‘I mean, look at you!’ she sighed, glaring down at the pathetic picture Jemma presented huddled beneath a mound of blankets with her face all swollen and pale. ‘Heartbroken and pregnant. It couldn’t be worse!’
‘Call a spade a spade, why don’t you?’ Jemma muttered, then felt the rise of fresh tears again. ‘I love him, Tri!’ she whispered. ‘I just couldn’t do it to him!’
‘All right—all right!’ On another sigh, Trina sat down on the edge of the bed and stroked a soothing hand over Jemma’s tumbled hair. ‘So,’ she murmured. ‘What will you do?’
‘I don’t know yet.’ Jemma made an effort to control herself, pulling herself up into a sitting position an
d wrapping her arms around her bent knees. ‘I just can’t think yet—how could I have been so stupid as to ignore what was happening to me?’ she choked out contemptuously, lowering her head so that the curtain of hair tumbled about her face.
‘Maybe it isn’t what we think,’ Trina suggested. ‘Maybe I’ve jumped to the wrong conclusions about what’s wrong with you.’
Jemma’s face came up again, blue eyes stark with tears and mockery. ‘Do you honestly believe that?’ she drawled.
‘No.’ Trina shrugged, so did Jemma, and a silence fell around them for the space of a few dull minutes.
‘How the heck did it happen, anyway?’ Trina demanded suddenly. ‘I thought you were being careful.’
‘We were!’ Jemma declared. ‘But that first time, I—we—’ She stopped and blushed, then went on huskily, ‘After that he used something—’
‘Do you mean to tell me that that—highly experienced rake took you without protection that first time?’ Trina jumped in in disgust.
Several times, Jemma corrected silently, unable to keep the soft smile from her lips when she remembered that first earth-shaking night in his arms. They’d both been too lost in each other to give protection a single thought!
‘But that alters everything, Jem!’ Trina said eagerly. ‘It means that he is as much to blame as you are! And even Leon himself can’t deny that!’
Jemma stiffened, her vulnerable face closing up suddenly. ‘I will not trap him into a situation he has no wish to be trapped into,’ she said firmly.
‘Marriage, you mean? It’s what you deserve.’
‘Any kind of situation!’ Jemma declared. ‘Marriage and babies are not what Leon wants from me,’ she added dully.
‘Yet he has invited you to go and live with him in New York!’ Trina persisted. ‘That has to mean he cares something for you, doesn’t it?’
‘Nothing alters the fact that I will not trap him with this baby,’ she stated stubbornly. And was glad she had the rest of the week to come to terms with what she must do instead.
CHAPTER SIX
JOSH rang the next morning, asking stiffly if she was returning to work or not. Trina spoke to him. Jemma couldn’t. And he took her resignation without argument, promising to send her what he owed her in the way of salary by post. Jemma suspected that after what she’d said and done yesterday he was probably as relieved to see her go as she was to leave.
Leon rang each evening as he always did. And Jemma used these calls to begin distancing herself from him. He noticed. He had to do. She was cool and polite and rather vague if he touched on anything too intimate—and cried herself to sleep every night.
By Thursday his voice was terse and aggressive. ‘I will be arriving back about five tomorrow night,’ he informed her. ‘Shall I expect you at your usual time, or not?’ His sarcasm cut, even though she knew it was well deserved.
‘Of course,’ she said, biting down on her bottom lip to keep the ever-ready tears out of her voice. ‘I’ll be there about six.’
She spent Friday reinforcing her resolve to finish this with as much style as she could manage. Luckily the dreaded sickness seemed to be leaving her alone today, so she felt and looked a lot better—physically, that was. Inside was a different matter. Inside she felt as if she was splitting slowly into two.
She took nothing with her to the house, simply because she was not intending staying long.
Leon opened the door to her knock. He looked deeply into her sombre eyes and his own expression closed up tightly as he stepped to one side to let her go by him.
He barely gave her a chance to remove her coat before he got ruthlessly to the point. ‘I presume by your manner all week that you have decided to remain here in London.’