Langston sure as hell didn’t.
That’s what she’s saying. And I can’t think of any reason that she’d lie.
Plus, now that I’ve regained some of my self-control I can see the evidence for myself.
Blood is stained between her legs from where my cock tore away her innocence, her pussy was far too tight, and the tears that rolled down her face as she cursed and writhed in pain is enough to convince me.
She was a virgin—until I ruined her.
I punished her harder than I ever realized because she never told me the truth of what happened to her on that yacht with Jarod.
I assumed he and the other men aboard raped her, but now I know it’s not true. What the hell happened on that boat? Whatever it was, it hurt her so badly she may never recover.
And I just made it so much worse.
I feel a torrent of guilt for my actions—instant regret.
This should have been the opposite of her first time. This was far too violent for anyone’s first time. Far too brutal for most people’s ever times.
I shouldn’t have used sex to punish her. But I also knew I would struggle whipping her, beating her, scarring her. Not when I could see the physical scars all over her body the entire time I was doing it.
And then she goaded me. She wanted this.
Why?
So I would feel the same pain she does now.
I feel like a monster.
This is something my father would do—ruin a woman’s first time.
There is no way Kai will ever let me fuck her again. I doubt she will let any man touch her for years, possibly ever.
And it’s my fault.
I hurt her—when I promised her I never would.
At least, not in this way.
I’m a monster.
I brought the torture she must have only dreamed about to life.
Did she even come?
I was so consumed by my own feelings—revenge, punishment, and euphoria, that it all went by in a blur.
From the tears streaming down her rosy red cheeks, I’m not sure any of it was enjoyable for her.
“Baby—” I start, but she immediately cuts me off.
“I don’t want to hear your apology any more than you want to hear mine. There is nothing to apologize for anyway. I wanted this. I planned this. I wanted you to ruin me; it was the price I was willing to pay. I was already broken anyway.”
“Kai,” I try again.
By now she’s sniffling hard, trying to suck the tears back into her body.
Did she tell me to stop?