“No.”
“Exactly.” Kyle exhaled. “See, that seems to be the thing about you, Troy, never able to see how other people feel, always thinking about yourself. Well, just so you know, it means a lot. I spent all last night in prayer. I sat up here trying to block out all of the pain I felt when I realized that the only woman I’ve ever loved wasn’t able to love me back. Do you know what that’s like?” Kyle’s words stung me. I wanted to kiss him, hold him, and make him feel better, but with every word that came out of his mouth, I felt him drifting farther and farther away from me.
“I’m sorry, Kyle.” I began to cry. Kyle sat down on the couch beside me.
“What’s today, Troy?” he asked softly. He looked straight ahead at the wall in front of us.
“Sunday?”
“Where am I supposed to be on Sunday?”
“The church,” I answered, wishing I hadn’t said anything. I hadn’t even realized that Kyle was missing his service.
“Never once have I missed one of my services.” Kyle paused. “I wondered for a long time what it would feel like to be in love—how it felt on the inside. How it felt to have that puppy love that makes you do crazy things—in spite of yourself. I’d preached about it, even counseled on it, but I’d never felt it. I’d spent so long focusing on my obligations that I felt that it would never come, that I’d never know what it was like to love someone…in that way. Then I heard your voice on the phone the other day. I heard how sad you were and in that very second, I knew I had to be with you. I wanted to protect you. I wanted to hear you laugh and see you smile and I was willing to do whatever it took to do that. After I called my deacon to fill in for me, I realized that that’s what love is. It’s about wanting the ultimate happiness for someone else—how you make me feel in here,” he said, pointing to his heart. “I love you in here, Troy. And that’s different than anything I’ve ever felt.” He paused. “But I can’t allow you to hurt me. I flew all the way out here just to impress you, to show you how much I loved you. I spent a lot of money I didn’t have. Last night you made me feel like a fool.” Kyle got up from the couch. “But do you know what I realized this morning? The funny thing is I’d do it all again.” Kyle opened the room door. “But only for a woman who could appreciate it.”
“Kyle, I do appreciate you. You’re the kindest man I’ve ever known and I don’t want to lose you. I want to be with you,” I cried. Kyle held his hand over his mouth and closed his eyes.
“I can’t do this, Troy,” he said with his voice cracking. “I can’t make the same mistake twice.” Kyle looked at me. I could see tears gathering in his eyes. “I need you to leave,” he said, stepping away from the door. “Goodbye.”
Tasha was walking out of Tamia’s room when I got off of the elevator at the hospital.
“Tasha,” I said, rushing toward her. “I’m so sorry—”
“I don’t want to talk about it here.” She stopped me. “I’m fine right now. I just want to make sure Tamia’s okay.”
“How did you know?” I asked.
“The people at the hotel told me she was here.”
“I tried to call you but—”
“Troy,” Tamia called weakly from the room.
“Hey, baby,” I said, walking in with Tasha behind me. “I see you’re awake now. You had us all so worried about you.”
“I know. I’m sorry.”
“Girl, please, I think we’re all just happy you’re okay,” I said, looking across the bed at Tasha. We both took Tamia’s hands.
“I just want to say one thing about yesterday,” Tasha said. “I thought a lot about it and I understand what you guys were trying to do, but I will have to deal with it in my own time.”
“That’s fine,” Tamia said.
“We understand,” I added.
“We really have to stick together now, y’all,” Tasha said. “A lot of things are happening and I just realized…” She started crying. “I just realized that I need y’all now more than ever. We all need each other.”
I reached over Tamia to hug Tasha.
“What about me?” Tamia said. “I nee
d love too. I’m the one who’s sick here.” We laughed and bent down to hug Tamia too.
“Well, I don’t know about y’all but I am so ready to get back home,” Tasha said, turning to open the blinds in Tamia’s room. “L.A. is full of drama, and y’all know I hate drama.”
Tamia and I looked at each other.
“Yeah, right,” we said together.