“Those are pretty words,” I say, digging deep for the familiar numbness and letting it fill my chest. “But I’ll believe it when I see it. When you can prove to me that you mean what you say.”
“Okay.” Elias’s quick response surprises me. He holds up his hands, his light brown eyes wide and sincere, like he’s trying to prove already that he’s no threat to me. “I hate that it has to be that way, but I understand why. You’ll see, Blue. I promise. We’re done following Gray’s lead when it comes to you—when it comes to anything. I’m sorry he lost Beth, that we all lost her, but this is too fucking much. He doesn’t get to hide behind grief forever and use it as an excuse to hurt other people. He’s done too much damage already, and we should’ve stopped him a long time ago.”
My heart races in my ears, a steady thump as Declan nods, his expression set in hard lines.
“He can be a stubborn fucking asshole,” he says. “And we should know. We cut him slack because of Beth for months, but we can’t do that anymore. Not if this is what he’s doing. We choose you, not him. We’ll protect you from him as much as we can.”
I swallow the lump of emotions in my throat, avoiding looking at either of them.
We choose you.
“Fine,” I whisper.
It’s a paltry, pitiful word, not even close to expressing everything I wish I could say. But it’s all I can give them right now.
I can’t believe any of it. I won’t let myself believe it until I’m really, truly sure. My heart’s already been broken once. I’m not sure I’d survive it breaking two more times.
This time, when I shove my way past the two men, they let me leave. The campus is emptying out as classes start for the day, and I hike my backpack higher on my shoulders as I walk quickly toward the lecture hall where my first class will be held. The professor gives me an annoyed look as I slip into the large classroom, but I don’t even bother affixing a contrite look on my face. It would take more energy than my whirling thoughts allow.
My phone buzzes in my pocket as the door closes behind me, and I dig it out to see several texts from Max.
MAX: It’s cool. I’ve got Psych 101 first. I think you said you do too, right?
MAX: Hey, girl. Professor Thomas just called roll. You want me to cover for you?
MAX: I’m sitting in the back left.
When I look in that direction, she gives a little wave, and a small amount of relief washes through me as I make my way to her, ignoring the whispers and looks that follow me as I do. People talking behind my back is nothing I haven’t dealt with before, and I refuse to let it bother me now.
“Hey. Is everything okay?” Max shoots me a worried look as I take a seat next to her. Professor Thomas has gone back to his lecture, and the room is big enough that her low whisper doesn’t draw his attention.
“Yeah, everything’s fine,” I lie, deciding I’ll tell her about everything later.
Class passes by quickly. I already know most of this stuff because I’ve spent the past few days going over my textbooks and getting a jump on studying, but I make sure to take notes anyway so that it solidifies in my brain. If I throw myself into schoolwork, I should be able to ace this class and all of my other classes.
Max and I split for our next couple of classes, and I go through the motions of taking notes and reading the syllabi the professors hand out, but my mind keeps replaying my interaction with Declan and Elias over and over, dissecting every part of it.
They honestly seemed surprised when I told them what Gray had said. They seemed disappointed and pissed, like they expected better of him. And they seemed so fucking sincere when they told me they’d take my side over his.
Gray shows up in my last class before lunch, but I refuse to even look at him or acknowledge that I know he’s there. He does the same to me, which should be more of a relief than it is.
I slip out of the class quickly when it lets out, lost in thought as I head toward the dining hall. I’m barely paying attention to where I’m going and just walking on autopilot.
“Nice job, Sophie.”
The smug drawl from behind me makes me stop in my tracks, the fine hairs on the back of my neck rising like hackles. Caitlin’s falsely sweet voice grates on my ears, and I turn around slowly to see her flanked by her two little minions, Gemma and Reagan.
“Thanks,” I say shortly. I have no idea what she’s talking about, and I’m not gonna give her the satisfaction of asking.
“I heard you split up the Sinners,” she says, continuing on as if I did ask. “I never thought the day would come that a bitch like you would get between those three.” She cocks her head, scanning me from head to toe with an assessing look. “Can’t say I understand why. Why do any of them think you’re worth it?”
I suck in a breath to keep myself from hauling off and punching her in the face. As tempting as it is, I’m trying not to get kicked out of school this semester. She just wants to get under my skin, to piss me off—I know that, but I hate that it’s working.
“Fuck off,” I tell her flatly. “While you’re at it, go fuck yourself.”
Before she can respond, I turn on my heel and start walking again. I’m not letting that bitch feel any smug satisfaction for stating a fact that I already know.
And why should she be so smug about it?