He adjusted in the chair, uncomfortable in a way that couldn’t be fixed. “No. And please don’t be scared. I’m not… You’re not in danger, but I need you to know who I am. And I need you to know that I had no idea who you were until after that kiss at the gym. This was…not on purpose. In any way. I would’ve never…”
“Luc—” She bit off the rest of the fake name, and her hand gripped the arm of the couch as though she was ready to launch to her feet and race out the door. “What was not on purpose? Who the hell are you? You’re freaking me out here.”
He rubbed his damp palms on his thighs and braced himself. “Taryn, I’ve been using a different name here in Austin because I wanted to disappear and hide from the press. And the past.”
Her expression pinched into further confusion. “The press?”
“Yes.” He held her gaze. “My real name is Shaw. Shaw Miller.”
“Shaw Miller,” she repeated as though the name didn’t mean anything to her, as though she was testing out the sound. But the moment the name sank in and the connection registered, her face went slack and then horrified, her eyes going wide and her body jerking back as if he’d raised a hand to hit her. She jolted to her feet. “Shaw Miller.”
“Yes,” he said hoarsely.
“As in Joseph Miller’s brother?” Her voice roared through him.
He stood, palms raised. “I’m so sorry. I had no idea who you—”
Fury filled her eyes, making the soft brown go black. “You sick fuck.”
The words were like bullets hitting his flesh, tearing into him.
“Oh my God. Are you kidding me right now?” she demanded. “What is this? Was this some sort of game?”
“Jesus, Taryn. No, of course not. That’s why I tried to stay away. That’s why I left the gym tonight. Once I knew—”
She put her hands in her hair, an anguished look on her face, as if the thoughts were too big and violent to hold in her head. “I can’t believe I kissed you.” She looked up. “And you let me. You knew who I was tonight.”
He shook his head, shame moving through him in a wave and dragging him under. “I know. I’m sorry. I have no excuses. I’m just…so sorry. For the kiss. For Joseph. For everything you’ve been through. You deserve…the world. You didn’t deserve this. I would never want to add any more hurt to your life.”
She stared at him, her gaze jumping around his face, like she was trying to figure something out. No, he realized. She was looking for Joseph in his face.
“You have the same eyes.” Horror tinged the words.
“I’m sorry.” He would apologize for anything at this point. The color of his eyes. The blood that ran through his veins. He could never say sorry enough.
“God, I can’t believe this. How did I not see it? I read about you,” she said, frustration and disbelief there. “You were going for the Olympics.” She cringed. “In gymnastics. Shit. I saw you tumbling the other day, and it never crossed my mind.”
“Taryn…” He wanted to tell her not to blame herself. She’d had no context to place him then. But she was still talking.
“Then you got in trouble,” she said, looking up. “The news stories said you were violent like him. It’s in my notes somewhere.”
“I attacked a reporter.” He wasn’t going to sugarcoat it for her. “I hurt him.”
Taryn’s arms crossed tightly in front her, her stance defensive, her body visibly trembling. “I can’t believe I was this blind. I should’ve recognized you. You’re in my goddamned research file on Joseph’s family history.”
He hated the thought of that. Her knowing his past, the ugly parts. The illusion of Lucas shattered around them both. No clean slates. Only the truth. “I’ve worked hard for no one to be able to easily recognize me. I’ve changed my look. And I broke my nose in that fight. It healed crooked. I don’t look anything like I used to.” He almost stepped closer to her but then realized he was a threat in her eyes now, a danger. “But I never meant it to cause anything like this. I was here to lie low and help Rivers get the gym off the ground. I just…needed to not be Shaw Miller for a while.”
She stared at him for a long moment, the tense line of her jaw softening a little. “Does Rivers know?”
“Yes. He’s been my best friend since freshman year of college. He knows everything. Saw all the stages before, after, and during. Me moving back down here to open the gym was his idea.” Shaw let out a tired breath and shook his head. “I’m sorry you got caught up in it. I knew better. I broke my rules.”
“Your rules?”
“To not get involved with anyone—friendship, relationship, or otherwise,” he explained. “That stuff is off-limits for me.”
She frowned.
“I knew it would be too big