“Yep. Surprised me a little, too, to be honest.” Ren looked up at Hayes. “But it’s there, man. I believe her when she says she hasn’t done kink in real life. But that doesn’t mean she doesn’t want to. She vibrates with this undercurrent of sexuality. I’d lay big money that she’s got all kinds of deliciously twisted fantasies in her head. But for whatever reason, she doesn’t think she’s worthy or capable of them.”
“Why the hell not?”
“From what I gathered, she’s been the victim of insecure assholes who don’t know how to see what’s there. Men who don’t know how to deal with her not fitting into some easily defined category. She’s a straight woman who dresses androgynously and has no desire to change that. Maybe genderqueer, though I have no idea if that’s how she thinks of herself.” He shrugged. “She’s different. You know what the world thinks of different. And beyond that, she’s crazy smart and straightforward and doesn’t play games, which can intimidate people.” He sighed. “She thought I was fucking with her when I flirted with her. Like I was going to make fun of her or something.”
Hayes made a face that said he’d like to introduce those assholes to his fist. “Idiots. All those differences are what make her so goddamned interesting. And sexy. That day I told her my story, she wasn’t afraid to take me to task or ask questions about the lifestyle stuff. When I talked about edging, she couldn’t keep her eyes off my hands. I could almost hear her thoughts and had to fight not to get hard. And every time she describes all those intricate hacking terms to me, I get this image of making her do that in a scene. Having her recite high-level computer shit while we driv
e her crazy and try to break her concentration.”
Ren lips twitched at that. “We, huh?”
“I mean—”
“You mean exactly what you said. I could talk to her, you know,” he said, keeping his tone even. “See what her thoughts are on . . . things. On you.”
Hayes grimaced. “Don’t even bother.”
“You just admitted you’re attracted to her.”
“She’s not going to want me encroaching on her thing with you. She’s new to all this stuff. You’re enough to handle.”
Ha. That wasn’t a no.
“Now you’re making assumptions about her without asking her opinion,” Ren said, pushing up on his elbows. “I have a feeling she’d be insulted. You may be surprised. She likes you, and who knows what kinky thoughts are floating around her brain? You’ve already told her we used to share. It’s not like it’d come out of left field. I was thinking of inviting her to The Ranch. You could come along, no expectations.”
Hayes’s expression turned closed, the blinds shutting. “Enough, Ren.”
Ren had opened his mouth to say more but then clamped it shut. He’d pushed enough tonight. He didn’t want to risk chasing Hayes back into a corner. Tonight had been a big step. That was enough.
So instead of playing debate, he pulled Hayes down next to him. “Enough talk. Let’s get some sleep. It’s been a long week.”
Hayes seemed relieved to let the conversation die and settled into the spot next to Ren, his heavy presence both new and familiar at the same time. They’d slept together like this countless nights. But back then they were boys who couldn’t touch. Boys who were scared. Tonight they were men who refused to be afraid.
And Ren sure as hell wasn’t going to take that miracle for granted. They’d figure out the rest later. He threw his arm over Hayes and fell fast asleep.
SIXTEEN
thursday
Cora had her earbuds tucked in her ears, music blaring, as she stared at the list of names she’d made. She was trying like hell to concentrate, but it wasn’t working. She’d promised herself that this week would be dedicated to work. She wouldn’t ruminate about what had happened with Dmitry last Friday night. She had a job to do and she had the potential date with Ren. She didn’t need to focus on a virtual breakup. But her internal lectures weren’t proving effective today. She missed Dmitry. And she was restless, trying to figure out why she was so torn up about losing him when she had a guy like Ren offering to make her fantasies come true.
But the more she’d thought about it, the mystery hadn’t been that hard to solve. With Ren, it would be a hot hookup. She was attracted to him, intrigued by him, and liked him as a person. But she wasn’t a fool. Ren wasn’t looking to date someone seriously. He was a successful CEO, a dominant, and by all appearances, a player. She didn’t mind since he was upfront about it. But he wasn’t going to fill that spot Dmitry had in her life. And Ren had proven that this week. Though he’d been playful and flirty with her since their dinner last Friday, he hadn’t set up another date. Everybody was busy. If they decided to go out again, it would happen when it happened. Their connection was the definition of casual.
Nothing had been casual about what she’d developed with Dmitry. She’d gotten attached, not just to the sex, but to the conversation, the connection they seemed to have despite the fact that they’d never met. They got each other. And now he was gone.
And she’d given him up for a hookup with Ren, something that might not even happen.
How had she ended up here again? Ugh. She barely resisted tapping her head against her keyboard. She’d thought the virtual world would insulate her from this. But no, if anything, this hurt worse than any of the others. She’d let Dmitry in. She’d let herself care for him. Maybe even loved him a little . . .
No. You couldn’t love someone you’d never met. It was infatuation with a fantasy. Plain and simple. At least that’s what she kept telling herself. And round and round her thoughts went.
Argh. She shoved her chair back and tugged her earbuds out. She needed a change of scenery. She was supposed to be meeting up with the guys in half an hour to go over what she’d worked on this week, but right now she had a tangle of information and nothing was lining up. Maybe a little caffeine would help.
She headed out of her office in search of the drink machine. They had to have one here. She’d been drinking coffee from the break room for the last two weeks, but right now she was craving something fizzy. She passed by Malik’s office and stuck her head in. “Hey, is there a Coke machine on this floor?”
Malik looked up from his screen, eyes a little dazed like she’d broken him from deep concentration. “Uh, there’s one by the men’s bathroom but it steals your money half the time. Try the one down at the end of the executive hall. It’s usually got more stock in it because it’s a longer walk.”
“Thanks.”