Hayes turned his head to look at him, surprise there. “But that was the kink you liked best.”
Ren shrugged a shoulder. “I liked it best because I got to share a woman with my best friend. It wasn’t the same without you. Since everything happened, I’ve only been with subs solo.”
Hayes considered him and Ren could almost hear the gears in his head grinding. “This complicates shit doesn’t it?”
“Meaning?”
“Your other relationships.”
Ren’s stomach dipped. He hadn’t thought that far. Always leaping. Fuck. Part of him wanted to tell Hayes he would commit one hundred percent to him if that’s what he wanted. He loved Hayes unequivocally. But another part of him knew what that would entail, sent anxiety creeping through him.
Hayes reached out and tapped Ren’s forehead where lines had apparently gathered. “Relax, Muroya. I know you’re dyed-in-the-wool poly. I’m not going to ask you to give up women. Plus, I wouldn’t ask you to sacrifice the dominant side of yourself. Believe me, I know how fucking depressing that is.”
Ren blew out a breath. “But?”
He gave him a chagrined smile. “The thought makes me jealous as hell.”
The words curled through Ren, wrapped around some part of him that he didn’t know existed. Hayes would be jealous. That felt . . . kind of nice. He’d never had a lover be jealous. Gordon had been possessive but not jealous. He’d gotten off on lending Ren out. But Hayes’s feelings did make things trickier.
Ren tried to imagine the roles reversed. What if he knew Hayes was dominating women when Ren wasn’t around?
A sharp kick of oh, hell no went through him. He frowned, the feeling foreign and altogether uncomfortable. He’d never gotten jealous before, even when he’d already accepted that he loved Hayes. Sharing women with Hayes had always been a rush. And watching Hayes fuck someone else had been Ren’s own voyeuristic fantasy come true. But thinking of Hayes doing that without him there? It didn’t sit well.
But . . .
Ren propped his head on his hand, knowing he needed to tread carefully. “There could be an easy solution to that.”
Hayes sniffed. “I’ve learned there aren’t easy solutions to much of anything, especially when it’s your solution and you have that look on your face.”
Ren gave him a sly smile. “You may not want to hear it, but there’s an obvious option. I don’t fuck someone else unless you’re there.”
Hayes’s jaw flexed. “You know I can’t—”
“You said you wouldn’t risk sleeping with a woman. You don’t have to. There’s lots you can do just being there. You could be in charge of the scene, take the lead. You know how to dominate someone without ever laying a finger on them. Plus, I know how much you like to watch. And if you need to touch or be touched, I’m there.”
Hayes’s expression was hard, tense. But he didn’t say anything.
“It could work, Fox. Think about it.” Ren’s blood was pumping despite his utter exhaustion, the idea growing into a big whirling swarm of hope inside him. The two of them together again, really together, and then bringing in a third. In Ren’s world, that’s what utopia looked like.
Hayes let out a breath and let his head sag back onto the pillow. “I don’t know. I think I’d still have a hard time trusting some stranger.”
Ren mimicked his position and stared at the turning ceiling fan. The quiet of the room crept in. Just the sound of their breathing, the hum of the air conditioning, and the tick tick tick of the clock in the hallway.
“I asked Cora out,” Ren said finally.
Hayes’s breathing stalled.
“Well, actually, it’d be more accurate to say I propositioned her. I told her I wanted her beneath me and to show her my dominant side.”
Hayes made a choking sound. “You what?”
“Yeah, in hindsight, that may have been a little forward.” Ren smiled in the darkness.
“Ren, you can’t just—”
“She said yes.”
Hayes sat up at that, shifted to face Ren again. “Hold up. She said yes?”