schmuck, shmuck
schnitzel, schwanz, schwartz
sebastianic sword, shaft, short arm
single barrelled pump action bollock yogurt shotgun
skin flute, soldier
spawn hammer
steamin’ semen truck, stick shift
surfboard, Tallywhacker
Tan Bannana, tassle
third leg, thumper, thunderbird 3
thundersword, tinker
todger, tonk, tool
trouser snake, tubesteak
twig (& berries), twinkie
vein, wand, wang
wang doodle, wanger
wee wee, whoopie stick
wick, wiener, Wiener Schnitzel
willy, wing dang doodle,
winkie, yingyang, yogurt gun
Here’s the Vagina List
Please don’t hate me. Ha. (some have been removed)
1. 2. 3. Bearded Clam 4. Vagina 5. Soft Shelled Tuna Taco 6. Camel Toe 7. Slit 8. pit 9. Cum Dumpster 10. Fuzzy Taco 11. Air Pipe 12. 13. Beaver 14. Tuna Town 15. Punani 16. Puntang 17. ECD 18. Sweaty Love Box 19. Coochie 20. Stabin’ Cabin 21. Muff 22. Peach 23. Snake Pit 24. Holster 25. Snatch 26. Chonch 27. Pinoché 28. Hatchet Wound 29. Stinky Pink 30. Moose Knuckle 31. Small Aquatic Animal 32. Fetus Factory 33. Pudunda 34. Arm Sleeves 35. Finger Warmer 36. Bottle Holder 37. Anal Alternative 38. Susan 39. Land Down Under 40. Joy Trail 41. Tunnel of Love 42. Crotch Sink 43. Sex 44. Nappy Dugout 45. Fur Pipe 46. Flitter 47. Dinner 48. Meat Tunnel 49. Hole 50. Gash (Bleeding) 51. Roast Beef 52. Penis Coffin 53. Flower Bud 54. Pin Cushion 55. Velvet-Lined Meat Wallet 56. Cooter 57. Fur Burger 58. Fuzzy Credit Card 59. Pee-Pee 60. Miss Flappy 61. Mr. Happy’s Flappy Garage 62. Texas Tunnel 63. Front Butt 64. Penis Fly Trap 65. Red Snapper 66. Trouser Trout 67. Panty Perch 68. Box 69. Money Maker 70. Sideways Smile 71. Hair Pie 72. Abyss 73. Black Hole 74. Skirt Scampi 75. Beef Curtains 76. Funnel 77. Cherry Pie 78. Cherry 79. Penis Warmer 80.
Microwave 81. Womanhood 82. Mace 83. Fat Fold 84. Split Tail 85. Female Genitalia 86. Jiz Creek 87. One E One Horned Flying Purple Penis Eater 88. One E Monster’s Cave 89. Sheath 90. Plump Pink Penis Cushion 91. Hot Pocket 92. Cum Muffler 93. Weiner Wagon 94. Weiner Getter Wetter 95. Pink Void (get it?) 96. Pink Penis Caddie 97. Cum Sponge 98. Cum Catcher 99. Mound 100. Moist Monkey Mauler 101. Devil’s Ditch 102. Pike Purse 103. Quarry 104. Carp Carnival 105. Fish Farm 106. Skinner 107. Hole 108. Slime Well 109. Humpadelic Hymen 110. Can 111. Tampon Tamer 112. Daddy’s Dead End 113. Pink Room 114. Penis Receptacle 115. Oval Office 116. Flapper 117. TLU 118. Lasagna Lips 119. Bean 120. Hallway 121. Panty Puppet 122. Tuna Melt 123. Penis Garage 124. Ball Backboard 125. Porch 126. Yeast Factory 127. Yeast Infection Connection 128. Chatterbox 129. Box-on-the-Jack 130. Limpy’s Hump Palace 131. Pinochtitlán 132. Meatball Sub Tub 133. Tub 134. Fertilization Plantation 135. Park & Ride 136. Slip & SLide 137. Love Muffin 138. Hawaiian Hairball 139. ilocks and the Three Hairs. 140. zilla 141. Cubby Hole 142. Semen Locker 143. Apron 144. Bone Collector 145. Grassy Knoll 146. Fancy 147. The Mouth 148. One E Al’s Beef Corral 149. Duck Billed Fatapuss 150. Rubber Rimmed Romper Room 151. Masturbation Contingency Plan 152. Tar Pit 153. Sock 154. Pelvis Furby 155. Sperm Jacuzzi 156. Horny Harry’s Hobby Hole 157. Knuckles 158. Ho Chi Minh Trail 159. Yellow Prick Road 160. Great Red Ravine 161. Holiest of Holies 162. Penis Piñata 163. The Other White Meat 164. Baby Vending Machine 165. Toothless Grin 166. One Eye’s Wonder Hole 167. Purple Headed Party Shack 168. Penis Parking Lot 169. Pimp’s Paycheck 170. Glory Hole 171. Uteran Hatch 172. Watertight Door 173. Horny Halo 174. Gonorrhea Gainer 175. Tinkle Bird 176. Chlamydia Canal 177. Right Of Passage 178. Long Wanger Hanger 179. Pretty Little Penis Purse 180. Snuffleufapuss 181. Trophey Recepticle 182. Main Vein Drain 181. Pink Penis Pooker 182. Purple Headed Pit Stop 183. Spunk Bucket 184. Organ Formally Known as 185. Port of Entry 186. Errection Correction Trench 187. ECF 188. Clit Crate 189. Royal Envelope 190. Eager Mating Canal 191. Lunch Box 192. Inni 193. Velvet Underground 194. Big Berthat 195. Cooze 196. Quim 197. Extremely Durable Penis Orifice 198. Fun Bag 199. Lovin’ Oven 200. Penis Slide 201. Pride Land 202. Crank Case 203. Douche Caboose 204. Sausage Delivery Orifice 205. Clam Flavored Pothole 206. Nut Cam 207. Mama Joe 208. Next to the Butt Nut Hut 209. Pot Pie 210. Fuzzy Grape 211. Buried Treasure 212. Shrimp Bed 213. Cozy 214. Warm Apple Pie 215. Honey Pot 216. Bloomin’ Onion 217. The Q 218. Pee-Wee Grinder 219. Bloody Mary 220. Furry Flounder 221. Bald Eagle 222. Chang-Chang 223. Whisker Bisket 224. Muscle 225. Rabbit Hole 226. Snoop Nappy Snatch 227. Hairy Dime Slot 228. Skanky Hood 229. Landing Strip 230. Shaft Alley 231. Cunny 232. Kiki 233. Church Box 234. Sperm Bank 235. Meat Drapes 236. Misty Crevice 237. Knuckle 238. Snake Ranch
Congratulations
You’ve made it this far. Just a little bit more to go. Let me thank a few people.
A few things about me you should know. I am a list lover, and thought long and hard about making my acknowledgements into a list of sorts.
Before I do that, I want to tell you this part of the book is NOT edited, I’m writing it really quick and then will probably never read it again.
I got the idea to write an erotica novel while sitting around with my brother and cousin, Cara. She told us we needed to love on a certain well-known book and my brother, Jacob and I read the book. We each even liked it, and thought we want to do this.
So together we decided to give it a shot.