The last part has her chuckling. “I wasn’t going to say anything. But yeah, I’m never buying this brand again. It was a total fail on my part.”
She doesn’t say anything about my other admissions, though, and I’m happy she doesn’t because I know she feels the same way too. It’s the elephant in the room. Once we’re full, Lennon gets up and lets me know she’s going to take a shower.
She typically showers in the mornings, but after Brandon’s death, she’s used the bathroom as an escape to cry, so I don’t question her about it.
I pick up our mess, and just as I throw the rest of the pizza in the trash, I hear the water come on. Then I hear her singing.
Slowly, I walk down the hallway and stand outside the bathroom door to make sure I’m not imagining things. My eyes flutter closed, and I rest my head against the door, wishing I could tell her all my secrets and put my heart out on the line. Her soft and sweet voice sings so beautifully; I nearly give her a round of applause when the water turns off. I go into my room and shut the door. Sitting on the edge of the bed, I rub my hand over my face. It’s the first time she’s sung since Brandon’s death, and it has me crumpling, falling, so damn happy that I can barely compose myself.
The bathroom door creaks open, and I hear her walk to her room and shut the door, then moments later, she knocks on mine. After a second, she turns the knob.
“Hunter?”
I straighten my stance, and she grins. “Just checking on you.”
“I heard you singing…” I watch her, gauging her reaction.
Heat hits her cheeks. “I’m sorry—”
“I’ve missed it,” I cut her off. I never want her to apologize for singing again. “It sounded perfect.”
I watch her blood pump hard in her neck, and she looks confused. “I thought you hated my singing.” She crosses her arms over her chest as she scowls at me.
“If I told you I liked it, do you really think you would’ve kept it up?” I chuckle, reminding her of our antics.
A smirk plays on her lips. “You have a point.”
She walks into the room and looks around the space that once belonged to her and Brandon, then sits on the bed next to me. “It was a lullaby my mother used to sing to us when we were kids. It’s a song called, ‘Baby Mine.’”
She carefully rests her hand on her stomach, and it fucking breaks me. I can actually see the tiniest bit of a bump there.
“Growing up, music was such an integral part of my childhood, and I want to share that with my baby. Music connects people in a special way, and it’s a way for us to bond.”
“Wow,” I whisper, the revelation as to why she’s singing again hits me. “Love like that…it’s powerful.”
She looks down at her hands, and I see her fidgeting with the hem of her shirt. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say being vulnerable around me made her nervous. Not wanting it to grow awkward or for my last shred of willpower to snap, I stand and notice her yawning again.
“You should probably get some sleep.”
“You’re right. This baby wears me out, and I don’t even do anything.” She laughs at herself. “I can’t seem to catch up regardless of how many naps I take.” Lennon stands and walks past me, and the smell of her shampoo and soap takes over my inhibitions. I almost reach for her hand, pull her back, and kiss the fuck out of her, but instead, I ball my hand into a fist. Instead of following her, I decide to give her space because I need it as well. Just long enough to get a grip on reality.
After an hour of messing around in my room, I decide to try to sleep. I stare into the darkness for at least an hour when I hear Lennon’s quiet sobs in the other room. I thank the paper-thin walls for that.
I close my eyes tight, knowing I should let her be, but I can’t. I throw the blanket off and walk into the hallway, then stand outside her door and listen. I shouldn’t knock on the door. I should give her privacy. I need to go back into my room and leave her be. Instead of doing those things, though, I go against all my senses and slowly open the door.
“You okay?” I ask softly.
“No,” she whispers, curled up into a ball facing away from the door. “I just need to be held,” she answers truthfully.
Fuck me.
Regardless of what my head says, I follow my heart and go to her. To hell with it. I can’t let her cry in here all alone. I push the sheet back and slide under it. Feeling how cold her skin is, I wrap my arm over her petite frame and pull her body to mine.