I squeeze my eyes tight, trying to hide my truths from her. Even though I want to say so many words at this moment, I allow the silence to speak. Regardless of how much this fucking hurts, how much I’m beating myself up inside, I’ll do anything to comfort her and to help her heal, even if it means I’m destroyed in the process. Lennon’s quiet sobs diminish, and I know she’s finally asleep by how her breathing changes.
I should slip out of here now that she’s asleep, but I’m a selfish bastard who can’t give up the opportunity to hold her like this while imagining we’re two different people than who we truly are.
In another life, she and the baby are mine. As my eyes grow heavy, I’m smothered by the truth of our situation but force myself to fall asleep anyway.
Chapter Nineteen
Lennon
Soft lips trace my jawline, and I pant as he memorizes every inch of my body. At this moment, I need him like I need air, and I beg for him to take me, to fuck me, to make me his, because I am. Always have been. My breathing increases as lips slide down to my nipple, then feather kisses across my swollen stomach. As he hovers above me, I spread my legs apart, wanting him to claim me. He stops for a moment, leans back, then removes his shirt. When I look up to meet his gaze, my eyes widen in shock when I don’t see Brandon.
I see Hunter.
“Hunter?” The sound of my own voice wakes me. I sit up in bed and freak the fuck out when I realize he’s lying next to me. I squeeze my legs together, feeling the need and want take over. My body practically begs for him, and I’m so damn confused that I don’t know what to do. I’m blaming it all on hormones, all of it, because it’s the only explanation for what I’m feeling.
“Huh?” he mutters, blinking awake and leaning up on his elbow. He finally looks around with wide eyes, realizing he’s in my bed. “Oh fuck,” he whispers.
I swallow, studying his face, the same face that ripped me from sleep as he rushes out of the room. I’m so damn flustered and worked up and, more than anything, sexually frustrated. Why the hell would I be having dreams like this about Hunter?
Guilt immediately courses through me as I think about Brandon, and it feels like I cheated on him. I’d never do that. Hunter and I have grown close, so I know it’s my subconscious playing tricks on me. I close my eyes tight, pushing every single thought in my head away, and blame it all on the pregnancy. That’s what’s causing this, right?
My bladder is about to burst, so I hurry to the bathroom. Once I’ve taken care of business and brushed my teeth, I walk to the kitchen where Hunter moves around quickly as he makes breakfast, shirtless. I look at the tattoos on his arm and can’t stop staring at his biceps and how they flex as he cracks eggs into a pan.
“Hungry?” he asks, looking over his shoulder with a shit-eating smirk.
He has no idea what I’m hungry for, but I keep it to myself. Bastard knows exactly what he looks like half-naked, which is really fucking ridiculous. I’ve seen him without a shirt before, and each time, it takes my breath away, though I’ve never admitted that before.
“Starving,” I say, leaning against the doorframe to watch him. Randomly he glances over at me and shoots me a grin. As soon as the coffeepot beeps, he pours himself a cup. When I found out I was pregnant, I stopped drinking caffeine, and it might end up being the death of me.
“I’ve got about fifteen minutes before I have to leave,” he tells me as he slides some sausage and eggs on two plates. “You okay?”
Dammit, I’m gawking. “Uh, yeah. Just wish I could drink some of that delicious coffee.”
“Why? You mostly have creamer in yours anyway,” he teases, and I’m tempted to smack that grin off his face.
I force myself to walk away and go to the table to eat.
“I read in a pregnancy article that women are allowed to have up to twelve ounces of coffee a day without it affecting the baby.”
The hand that’s holding my fork freezes midair, shocked at his words. “What?” I ask as Hunter practically inhales his food. “You’re reading pregnancy articles now?” I can’t hide the amusement in my tone and smile wide at his admission.
He shrugs it off as if it’s no big deal. “Well, just came across one or two. But anyway, it said it was perfectly safe for the baby as long as you limit your intake.”
“Hmm…” I chew on my lower lip. “Sounds like torture, though. Coffee is like a can of Pringles. I can’t just stop at one.”