The smell of something delicious had my nose twitching. I inhaled deeply, and for the first time, didn’t immediately fall into a fit of coughing my lungs loose. Opening my eyes, I looked around my small hospital room. There were three walls and then a curtain that separated my space from the teenager there for knee surgery.
In the hard as stone recliner to my left sat my best friend. She was shoveling pasta into her mouth like she hadn’t eaten in days. Considering she hadn’t left my side for more than to use the bathroom over the last day and a half, she was probably starving.
“Is that Gino’s?” I asked with a jealous pout. My stomach was growling. The last thing I had eaten was the clumpy shit the nurse’s aide had claimed was oatmeal that morning, and I hadn’t been able to get more than a third of it down without gagging.
“Mm-hmm,” Riley nodded, chewing quickly before stuffing half a breadstick into her mouth. “Wan’ sum?”
I shook my head despite my stomach going crazy, pleading for just a bite. “You eat it.”
She kept stuffing her face, occasionally stopping for a drink of the huge to-go cup of what looked like Gino’s special raspberry lemonade. My mouth went dry just watching her suck the drink through the straw.
“When did you leave to get food?” I asked to break the silence.
“Didn’t.”
I frowned. “But Gino’s doesn’t deliver.”
She shrugged, pushing a bite of salad and spaghetti into her mouth to avoid explaining.
My stomach dropped. “Lin isn’t here, is she? Because I told you I don’t want to see her, Riles.”
“Nope. Not Lin.” She kept her gaze on her food as she wiped her mouth with a napkin.
Her evasive eye contact gave her away instantly. “Riley!” I whined.
“What?” she sighed. “He offered to get me something to eat. I was starving, Mar. I would have taken candy from the devil, I was so hungry.”
I wanted to be mad at her—at him—but he was being considerate of my friend’s needs. Just as he had been of mine and my family’s when none of us was in the state of mind to take care of ourselves during our grief over losing Dad. We all leaned on him during those two weeks. I wasn’t sure how any of us would have gotten through that without Cash.
I fell for him all over again because of it.
Which made the crash and burn of finding him with Lindsey even more painful.
Closing my eyes to hold my tears prisoner, I turned my head away so my friend couldn’t see the struggle I was having with my emotions.
Riley was quiet for a moment as she continued to eat. “I’m sorry, Mar. I wasn’t trying to upset you. I was just hungry.”
“It’s fine,” I assured her in a voice tight with suppressed emotion.
“Speaking of Lindsey, by the way…” I gritted my teeth, waiting for her to continue. “She called me this
morning. Said she’s moving out. Going home with her dad for the summer. Didn’t know if she was coming back for the fall semester.”
“Good for her,” I muttered.
“Are you ever going to tell me what happened? It’s crazy that you broke up with Cash and had a falling out with Lin all in the same day.”
If I put myself in Riley’s shoes, I would be just as confused. Was just as confused even though I saw the evidence with my own eyes. How could I have been so blind? What had I missed? Was there anything that could have clued me in to the fact that my boyfriend was seeing one of my best friends behind my back?
I could have tried to figure out those answers for the rest of my life without coming up with anything. The truth was, I hadn’t had a single clue. There had been zero hints that Cash was cheating on me. He had been nothing but attentive and considerate. I felt his love for me long before he said the words.
And that was the worst part. Because, in my heart, I knew he loved me. I could feel it living inside me even now.
Yet…
How could I ever trust him again?
He’d obliterated my trust and faith in him.