I didn’t dare move as I waited. Waited for his sweaty body to cool and reality to sit in. Wait for him to break my heart all over again and tell me that he couldn’t do this with me after all. That he didn’t want to be with me. That he didn’t love me…
“Did I hurt you bad?” he asked in a voice deep with an emotion I couldn’t place.
I shook my head, still too scared of what was going to happen next to dare look at him and let him see the tears that were already threatening to fall in anticipation of what he would say. One large hand landed gently on my hip, locking me against him as his other hand stroked up and down my spine. It felt perfect; everything about this moment was perfect. Except I couldn’t enjoy it because I was too scared of the words that would crush me if he uttered them.
“Kas, you’re too quiet, baby. I need you to talk to me.” He shifted us again so that we were both on our sides, and he tipped my chin up so I had to meet his eyes. “What’s wrong?” he whispered when he saw the tears I couldn’t hide. Instantly, his eyes filled with tears too. “Where does it hurt?”
The sight of his tears confused me even as a few of my own fell onto my cheeks. “My heart,” I whispered honestly.
His entire body seemed to jerk at my words, and he pressed a hand to the center of my chest. “Here?” he breathed, his sand-colored eyes tormented, and I nodded. “Why does your heart hurt?”
“Because I’m scared you’re going to break it again.”
“Baby, that isn’t going to happen. Ever. I thought you believed me when I told you that earlier.” The hand he had on my chest moved until he was wiping my tears away with his fingertips. “I love you, Kassa.”
It was slowly starting to sink in that this was real, that those words meant more than what they once had. The ache in my heart began to ease, and soon, I could take a deep breath again. As my breasts lifted and fell, my hard nipples brushed over his damp chest, which caused my entire body to feel like it was being stroked with an invisible fire all over again. Shyly, I looked down at how our bodies were practically intertwined and saw that his cock had already started to harden.
The smear of blood along his shaft caught my attention, just as my pussy began to cream for him all over again. Following my gaze, he inhaled deeply at the sight of the proof that he had been the first man to own my body.
The first and the last, that once bitchy voice sighed, now content.
“Shit!” His quiet exclamation made me jump.
“What’s wrong?”
“Kas, I didn’t protect you.” He sat up straight, his hand landing on something on the sheet, and his face paled when he saw the blood stain. “Holy shit, are you okay?” His voice shook as he jerked to his feet and then carefully lifted me into his arms. “Are you hurting?”
“I’m fine,” I said to assure him, but he didn’t seem to be listening as he carried me into the bathroom and turned the shower on. “Gray, really. I’m okay.”
He seemed lost in his own head as he waited for the water to warm up and then placed me on my feet in the walk-in shower. He grabbed a fresh washcloth from the shelf outside the shower, and after getting into the shower with me, he washed away all traces of the blood that I hadn’t realized was on my thighs, his fingers trembling as he gently cleaned me up.
“Gray,” I murmured, touching his face, which was clenched. “Please look at me.”
His eyes closed for a long moment before he finally lifted his lashes. The self-loathing in his gaze made me hurt for him. “I’m so sorry, Kassa. I didn’t realize I was so rough. I … I …” His chin trembled as he broke off and blew out a harsh breath. “Fuck, I’m sorry, baby.”
I stood on my tiptoes and brushed my lips over his, effortlessly cutting off any more words from him. “I’m okay,” I repeated as I pulled back enough to meet his eyes. “You didn’t hurt me. I loved what we did, and I can’t wait to do it again.” I pressed my nakedness against him and felt his body harden all over again.
“Kassa, I didn’t protect you,” he whispered in a voice that still shook. “I lost my head and didn’t think. Fuck! I couldn’t even think past getting to be inside you.”
I should have been freaking out right along with him over that point, but I felt calm. Because, if something did happen, Gray would take care of me. He loved me, and I felt safe and secure knowing that we would have each other’s backs no matter what.
“I love you,” I said, knowing the reaction I was going to get, and he didn’t disappoint me.
He went still, his body, though still hard, relaxed against mine. “I love you more.”
I stroked the dripping hair back from his face and smiled up at him. “That’s all that matters, okay? As long as you love me, we can conquer the world.”
> He pressed his forehead to mine, the water cascading over both of us as he locked his hands at the small of my back and held me. “That’s exactly how you make me feel, little butterfly. But the consequences of what I just did… That could be bigger than anything we’ve ever faced before.”
“Alicia would call it an adventure,” I murmured and realized that part of me was already excited at the possibility of what could already be happening inside my body. But he seemed freaked out, so I didn’t voice my thoughts. We could talk about this later, if we had something to talk about.
Instead, I grabbed the bottle of body wash and lathered his body up with my hands, stroking every inch of him. His breath hissed out through his teeth when I finally cupped his hard cock in both hands, stroking him from the base to the tip.
“I want you,” I murmured against his lips as I kissed him. “I want you so bad. I’m hurting, I need this in me so bad, Gray.”
“Kassa,” he groaned, kissing me back. “Baby.”
I stroked him harder, washing away any last trace of what had happened from his thick shaft. “I love you.”