We talked for a little longer and then said goodbye. Ten minutes later, I got a text telling me the jet would arrive first thing the next morning. Dropping down onto the couch, I leaned my head back and closed my eyes.
I had to return to New York. Taking care of Adas, making sure Tavia was safe, was the only option. Letting others do what was my job and mine alone, even if it was Pops handling it, wasn’t acceptable. But leaving her here, being away from her, was going to tear me apart.
Scrubbing my hands over my face, I stood and climbed the stairs. The lamp on the nightstand was on, casting a soft glow over her and the bed. She was sleeping on her side, one hand tucked under her cheek, making her look young and innocent.
The oxygen was turned off and the machine pushed to a corner of the room, along with the IV pole she hadn’t needed. Raven had taken the IV out of Tavia’s hand the day before since she was doing so well and didn’t need the extra fluids the doctor had provided for her.
Kicking off my shoes, I climbed in behind Tavia and carefully wrapped my arms around her, not wanting to disturb her sleep. She sighed peacefully, then turned over, her face burrowing against my chest.
“Theo,” she murmured softly without opening her eyes.
Touching my lips to the top of her head, I closed my eyes, savoring the feel of her in my arms and storing the memory for while I was away from her. I didn’t know how long it was going to take to deal with Adas, but I couldn’t return for her until he was taken care of. Only when I knew it was safe for her to return to New York would I see her again.
“I have to go, krasotka,” I murmured into her hair, knowing she wouldn’t hear me but needing to speak the words aloud. “I have to ensure your safety.”
She sighed again, snuggling deeper into my warmth.
“When I return for you, we will finally be able to begin our future together. Until then, always remember that I love you.”
“Theo?” she whispered, her lashes fluttering upward to show me those darker-than-espresso eyes. “What did you say?”
“Nothing, krasotka,” I told her, kissing her brow. “Sleep, baby.”
“Okay,” she yawned delicately. “Goodnight, Theo.”
I held her for hours, refusing to close my eyes even for a second, wanting to soak
up every moment of this for later. But when I heard people moving around in the house, getting ready for work, I knew it was time to let her go.
For now, I reminded myself as I carefully untangled myself from her and stood. But I will return for her. Soon.
Letting myself have one more moment to gaze down at her, memorizing her features all over again, I forced myself to turn and walk away.
Chapter 14
Tavia
Yawning, I turned over in bed, stretching carefully. When I came into contact with nothing but the chilled other half of the bed, I opened my eyes.
A feeling of déjà vu hit me, and my heart contracted painfully as sadness began to press down on me. I didn’t know why, because it wasn’t like it was the first time I’d woken up alone after Theo had held me during the night. But I couldn’t remember having a nightmare, so I didn’t know why he’d been in bed with me this time.
The morning I woke up after Theo and I made love all night in my dorm room, I’d felt a sense of loss as soon as I opened my eyes. I hadn’t known right away that it was the last time I would see him for weeks. I’d just thought maybe he hadn’t wanted to wake me up before leaving for work.
I’d told myself it was sweet, but in my heart, I knew better. Waking up alone in bed the morning after giving yourself to a guy was not a good thing. Later, when I’d tried to call him and he’d sent me to voice mail, I’d told myself it was okay. He was just busy and would call me back when he got the chance. No way he could make love to me so passionately, as if he couldn’t get enough of me, as if it were killing him because he couldn’t get close enough, and not feel as strongly as I did.
I told myself that for weeks, my heart breaking a little more with each passing day that he didn’t do as I wanted—needed—him to do and call or text. Anything to let me know I meant more to him than a one-night stand. Another notch on his belt. Another conquest that was quickly forgotten as he moved on to the next easy lay.
Upset with myself for letting it get to me again, I got out of bed and dressed. Downstairs, the house felt oddly empty as I walked through the living room and into the kitchen. Flick stood at the sink, doing dishes and humming to herself. When I entered the room, she turned, a smile on her face for me in greeting.
“Good morning. Sleep well?” Picking up a dish towel, she dried her hands. “How about some scrambled eggs for breakfast? Raven said you did so well with the mashed potatoes last night that eggs would be fine today.”
“She’s not here?” I asked hesitantly, when what I really wanted to ask was where Theo was.
“No, it’s just me and you until I have to pick up the kids. Raven has a few things to do today.” Pulling out a carton of eggs, she walked to the stove. “So, scrambled?”
“Y-yes please.” My voice cracked as I sat at the table.
I didn’t need Flick to tell me Theo was gone; I could feel his absence in my soul. The sudden, overwhelming loss, the feeling like he’d abandoned me, made a joke of every time I’d told myself I hated him. Swallowing around the knot in my throat, I forced a smile for Flick as she placed the plate of eggs in front of me.