“The fucking lamp is broken! You were playing football in the house!”
“I wasn’t! You broke it, Dad!”
“You gonna blame your shit on me? I don’t fucking think so!” He grabbed me by the back of the neck and dragged me into the garage. “How about I break your shit, huh? What do you think of that?”
He hurled me against an upright freezer, slamming the back of my head. As I sat in a daze on the cold garage floor, he collected all the toys I had in the garage, including my bicycle, and stacked them up in the driveway. He made me watch as he ran over the pile with his truck, screaming at me the whole time.
I’m starting to shake, and I hate it. I grip my hands into fists in a lame attempt to control the building tension
inside of me, but it doesn’t work. It never did. The tightness of my muscles moves up into my head. My temples throb, and pressure builds behind my eyes.
I lean over to check on Solo, hoping the kitten’s soft fur and purring will ease the feelings inside of me as I cradle him against my chest and make sure he’s breathing okay. I stare at Seri, trying to figure out why the hell she’s acting like this. She’s completely freaking out, so I’ve obviously done something wrong, but what? Margot and I always slept naked, even if we didn’t have sex before we slept. It helps hold in the body heat.
“What the hell is your problem?” I yell back at her. My head throbs with the sound.
“You’re naked!” Seri wraps her arms around herself as if having more coverage over her own body will somehow make me less bare.
I glance down at my naked body. The cold air makes my dick a lot less impressive than it was when she took it in her hand, but I didn’t understand why that would be an issue now. Without any other ideas, I settle Solo back in his box and grab the blanket from the bed to cover myself.
“I was naked all night!” I blurt out the only words that make any sense to me.
“My God, Bishop! I know we had a bit of a moment last night, but this is not okay!”
“A moment?” I stare at her, now more flabbergasted than ever. “Is that what it was?”
“I know I pissed you off, but that doesn’t mean you can do something so…so…disrespectful!” Seri shakes her head violently before placing her hands over her face. “Just…put your clothes back on!”
Completely confused and trying to prevent my own breakdown due to all the yelling, I grab my boxers from the floor where she dropped them and yank them up my legs. I retrieve my jeans and a T-shirt from the drying rack and then head toward the front door to get the rest of my gear to go outside and clear off the roof.
Seri uncovers her eyes but remains huddled against the wall and glares at me as I dress in my boots and parka and open the door.
“Motherfucker.”
Snow is piled up to the top of the opening, preventing even the cold wind from blowing snow into the cabin. I hear Seri gasp, but ignore her as I grab a small shovel from behind the door and poke at the top of the pile of snow, which falls to the floor at my feet.
Thankfully, the snow isn’t much higher than the door, at least here on the lee side of the cabin. Additional fresh air fills the room as I dig out enough of a hole that I can climb out and onto the snow bank.
The wind whips around me, but the sky has cleared and the snow is no longer accumulating, just blowing around. It’s drifted up and over the roof and up one side of the chimney. At least it’s easy enough to climb onto the roof, carefully moving on my hands and knees to spread out my weight and keep myself from dropping too far into the snow. A thin crust of ice covers it all, making movement a little easier. I make my way to the small air holes I made from the inside, displace the snow from there, and then uncover the chimney. Once that’s done, I widen the hole at the entrance to the cabin and create a couple of steps to make it easier to get out again.
The fresh air and cold have calmed me somewhat, and I hope Seri has calmed down as well as I lower myself back through the hole at the top of the door. I get the door securely closed again, stomp snow from my boots, and then head to the fireplace to get some warmth back in the room.
Seri is wrapped in the blanket and sitting on the bed, glaring daggers at me, and the look reminds me of the man who brought me into the world. Just as I didn’t know in my childhood what I did to deserve that look, I have no clue what I’ve done to deserve such a look now, and I tense again as I blow over the coals and watch flames lick around the kindling.
I have no idea what’s happening here. Women are a mystery to men, or so I hear, and I know less about them than most. I have no idea what’s happening, and I can’t decide if I’m angry at her reaction, annoyed that she’s giving me orders in my house, or hurt that she doesn’t seem to want to acknowledge what happened last night.
Mostly, I’m fighting the emerging, deep-rooted fear of a man long since dead. I squeeze my eyes shut for a moment, forcing thoughts of his face from my head. It doesn’t work. Instead, I see his face covered with blood. I remember the wooden axe handle in my hands and how slippery it got toward the end. With a shudder, I open my eyes, shove a couple of logs on top of the flames, and stare at the fire as it grows.
He is not here. He is not the one who was yelling at me.
The images dissipate into the flames, and I search my brain for any reason why Seri is acting like this. Margot constantly told me to look for a woman’s reactions and base your behavior on that. She mostly meant in the context of sex, but maybe it meant afterward as well. Just because Margot liked sleeping naked doesn’t mean Seri does. If I had been more observant, maybe I would have figured that out.
Fuck if I know.
With oxygen and warmth in the room again and me fully dressed, Seri does appear to be calming down. She looks at the floor with her arms still wrapped around herself, but at least she isn’t yelling at me anymore. The tension in my muscles releases slightly, and I try to busy myself by adding wood to the fire instead of just standing there like an idiot, trying to figure out what the hell the problem is.
Seri sits on the bed, unmoving. We don’t look at each other, but I can still see her out of the corner of my eye. Solo places a paw on my thigh, meowing for some breakfast, and I’m glad for the distraction.
I pick him up and take him to the kitchen with me as I get the milk out. I rub his head as he walks back and forth on the counter, yowling in anticipation. Running my fingers over his fur further calms my nerves.