I shoot a text message to her before I enter the shower. I whistle as I shower feeling good about things. I’m happy that I’m going to sort out my girls. Ensure that they will always be financially secure.
I glance at my phone when I get out of the shower. Lexi has not responded to my message asking for her bank account details. I dress and check my phone one more time, nothing. It’s not a cause for worry as she gets pretty busy at the bar. I remember that I’ve seen her bank statement in one of her drawers in passing. I hesitate for a moment.
She won’t mind, I decide. I open the drawer and pull out a brown envelope. The contents are exactly what I’m looking for. I grab a pen and paper ready to jot down her bank account details, then as I prepare to write, something in the statement catches my eye.
My brother’s name. Declan Carter. I hold the sheaf of papers up; sure my eyes are playing tricks on me. No. I scan further along and there it is again, and an amount deposited into Lexi’s account.
My blood goes cold. There must be a rational explanation of why my older brother is depositing money into my girlfriend’s account. The payments go back the whole year. I feel sick like I am caught in a nightmare. I think hard but there is no plausible reason for it. He’s not Luna’s father, why else would he be paying Lexi? Sickness rises up my throat. I run to the bathroom and throw up in the toilet.
I don’t understand any of it, but the evidence is pointing to one direction. But it doesn’t make sense. Why would Lexi be with me if Declan is Luna’s dad? Every part of me rejects that idea. Luna is my daughter! My head pounds.
The events of two years ago come back to haunt me. Finding Stacy and Declan making out. Then Declan’s explanation that he had done it to prove to me that she was a slut. I had believed his explanation without a doubt. I had not bothered to counter-check his story by asking Park. Have I been a fool all this time? Did my brother impregnate Lexi and then leave me to take the fall? I don’t want to believe that but what other rational explanation is there? If they are innocent and there’s a good explanation for the transfer of money, why didn’t Lexi tell me?
The world spins at break necking speed and I slide to the floor. I’m going to lose Luna! What if I pretend that I never saw the bank statement? Except that I’m not a hypocrite. I can’t pretend that all is well when I’m dying inside.
I can’t bear to face Lexi, but I need to get out of the house. I text Park while I’m in the elevator. I cross my fingers that Serenity is not busy this afternoon. My phone beeps as a message comes in.
Serenity is free. I need to clear my head and I can only do that out in the ocean. I drive to Santa Monica and resist the temptation to step on the gas. My job as a firefighter has taught me the repercussions of allowing my emotions to control me.
Most automobile accidents are caused by people driving under the influence and driving when upset. So, I keep the speed down and make it to Santa Monica in one piece. I park the car but instead of going straight to the marina, I march into Declan’s Pizza restaurant.
He’s not at the front. I go to the back and enter his office without knocking. He looks up in surprise from his chair behind the desk.
“Ace, I didn’t—”
Before he can finish the sentence, I’ve plowed into his face with a fist to his cheek. Unprepared, he topples to the ground.
“Tell me, Declan, whose child is Luna? Is she yours?” I bellow and realize that I’m not ready to hear the answer to that question.
I desperately need Luna to be my child. I can’t bear it if Declan confirms that yes, she’s his child. Without another word, I stalk out. Everything is ready for me at the marina. Luckily, Park is busy. He’s about to take a group out and he doesn’t ask any questions.
Alone in my boat, the heartbreak comes. I thought I’d been heartbroken when I found Declan and Stacy. It was nothing compared to the pain I feel now. My happiness has just been snatched from me. I had been a different person this morning. My world and future had been secure. I’d been happy with a family of my own. Now it lays crumpled at my feet. So many things begin to make sense. Lexi’s reluctance to get married.
If she’s in love with Declan, what is she doing with me? Was she bidding her time until Declan came around? Declan has always been averse to relationships. Did he refuse to have a relationship with Lexi and so she went for the next best thing, me?