“I wouldn’t leave you like that,” Ace says solemnly. “I’ll organize with my attorney so that you have money deposited into your account every month.”
I open my mouth to protest but Ace waves my protests away.
“You’re the mother of our child. I want you to feel financially secure,” Ace says.
I’m at a loss for words. For Luna, I accept the offer gracefully. It feels odd knowing that I’ll receive money that I’ve not earned. I make a mental note to call Declan. He needs to talk to Ace. It needs to come from him.
“Let’s not do that again,” he says. “We’re adults and we should be able to talk about our problems.”
“I agree.”
We talk and talk until we have to go home and relieve Vanessa. I feel guilty to find that Luna is already asleep.
“She was fine,” Vanessa whispers to me as we stand in the doorway of her room peering in. “You guys needed a night out. Don’t feel bad.”
She’s right. Luna also needs her parents to get along. To learn how to be a family. Vanessa and I return to the living room. She pulls me to the couch.
“Lexi, I have to tell you, Mom’s started drinking again although she’s denying it,” she whispers.
My body grows heavy with disappointment. Secretly, I’d hoped that this time she could kick her addiction. The pattern is always the same. She and Butch will live life in the fast lane, going out every night, coming home drunk, waking up to drink again, and then hopefully they’ll leave town.
I wish they would leave now.
“I’m sorry, Vanessa,” I tell her. She’s the one who has to live with the horror of it.
“I’m thinking of moving out temporarily,” Vanessa says. “Spending the evening here with Luna convinced me that it’s the right move to make. I can’t stay in that house anymore, Lexi.”
“Where will you go? Let me talk to Ace about you moving into the spare room,” I tell her.
“No!” Lexi says. “I’ve found a place already. It’s a small furnished apartment for traveling nurses and it’s walking distance from the hospital.”
Things are really changing. But maybe change is not so bad.
“Don’t worry about me, Lexi. I’m okay and excited. Do you know this is the first time I’m going to live away from home?”
“I felt the same way when I moved here,” I tell her.
We chat a bit more and then I walk her out to her car. I hold her close when we hug. I love her so much!
Back in the condo, I find Ace in the kitchen making coffee for both of us. I slide into the island stool and admire my man.
“Everything okay with Vanessa?” he says.
“Mom’s started drinking again.”
Ace doesn’t say anything at first. He stirs sugar into the coffee and comes to sit next to me. “Have you ever spoken to her about checking into a rehabilitation center?”
“I mentioned it once and she went ape shit,” I tell him. “She’s never accepted that she’s an alcoholic because she has periods when she stays off alcohol like the last couple of months.”
“It won’t hurt to try again,” Ace says.
“Yeah, I will.”
It’s strange how childhood fears are seared into our brains. I remember telling Mom that we’d run out of canned beans and she hurled a pan at me. It missed my head by a hair. The same fear that I’d felt as the pan flew across the room is the one I feel now at the thought of suggesting that she go into rehab.
“I can be with you when you tell her if you like,” Ace tells me.
I look at him in astonishment. How is he able to read my mind? “I’d like that.”
After we finish our coffee, I take a shower, check on Luna one more time, and then slip into bed next to Ace. It feels so good to be in his arms and to lose myself in his kisses and caresses.
It’s so easy to say yes to his proposal. But I need more time. More time to grow comfortable in us. More time for the ‘what if’s’ that my mind keeps bringing up to reduce.
We make love leisurely as if we have all the time in the world, which I suppose we do. We have all night to reconnect; to bridge that gap that our disagreement caused. I make a promise to myself. I’ll try my very best to handle my worries and fears in a more mature manner.
“I love you so much, Lexi,” Ace whispers into my ear as he slips his manhood into me and we become one.
“I love you too, Ace.”
Chapter 34
Ace
I’ve spent the morning with Luna walking her around the gardens and pushing her in a toddler’s swing in the play area. By the time I return her to Helen, she’s ready for her lunch and then a nap. I have an appointment with my attorney, and I need Lexi’s bank statement.